Day 25: Last Friday Led

This is my last Friday led class for this trip. I walked with Soraya at 430 am in the morning for her 6 am practice. She feeds the dogs everyday and sweetly makes time for that before practice. My practice time is at 730 am but I do not want her to walk alone. There's news about women being harassed by this long haired crazy man around Gokulam...

I was very early for the 730 am class and got the top step fir the first time, together with Helena from Switzerland and Becky from New York. Karen followed and soon the steps were full. I no longer want to write about the incident on jumping the "queue" but it caused quite a stir and a few snickers as we waited. Practice begins before we step on the mat...

And I loved my practice. I was in between Becky and this other beautiful lady and I felt light and open. I listened to Sharath's voice with gratefulness.

* * *
After practice, I began looking for my my bronze and brown Fitflops. Someone must have not noticed the color or needed a change because I got silver ones in its place. I hope I get them back on Sunday led...

Breakfast was at Anokhi's with Karen and Andrea. French crepe, omelet and coffee masala. My tummy still felt extremely strange. I walked quickly back to my room...

After I rested, it was time to pack up to take Gela's old room and after settling down, I did my laundry.

I lost my wedding ring. It must have slipped off my finger while I was doing the laundry. I frantically looked for it, stuck my hand and incense stick down the drain and finally broke down and cried to Sor who cried with me. The ring has a beautiful story behind it...

I tried not to think about it over dinner with Annriika, Lisa, and Cecilia at Metropole. I tried not to think about it as we went to that strange place in Lakshmipuram. I tried not to think about it as I slept.

It's one of those beautiful/strange days in this beautiful/strange place. I tried not to be sad at the end of the day.

Day 24: No Escape

We are now up to 8am and Sharath placed me on the first row despite the stage being empty for a while.
I felt the lightness return. I did my backbends on the floor and when I came up, there he was. Right in front of me.

I bowed my head. I am sorry about yesterday.

I know. You cannot escape like that. I'm watching you, that's why I'm here now. You do.

A string of sentences. He stood right in front of me as I dropped back and came up thrice. Then he held me for crossed arms.

I am truly amazed at how he manages to pay attention to each person in such a full shala, with students coming and going for 7 hours straight from early morning till close to noon.
***
Gela is leaving and we spent the afternoon together...

Day 23: Heaviness

I woke up with a heavy head and felt my joints aching with the flu that won't leave. Sharath called for Philippines but no one wanted the stage. I normally would be fine there except I was fighting this fever.

I took the stage. Soraya was across me. For the first time since I got here, I needed a spritzer for Garbha Pindasana. I moved through the tenderness and heaviness. I did seven backbends on the floor, thinking to get up then begin dropping back but the pounding in my head resisted.

After practice, I was by the door and sought out Sharath.

You not crossing....(he said a lot more). He was smiling but serious.

I motioned my hand to touch my neck. Fever...I bowed my head.

That afternoon, we went to the shala then went for Chai and cookies at Karen's place. My head still felt heavy but it was relaxing spending time with the ladies especially as Gela is about to leave.

In the evening, I did my Reiki self treatment. I needed Light for this heaviness.

Day 22: Moon Day Rest

I have been in and out of these fevers. Each moon day and rest day truly calls for rest.

In the afternoon, my head ached terribly and I slept, slept, slept...

Day 21: Maha Shivaratri

It was another happy practice. Mysore is bubbling with the spirit of Mahashivaratri. The colors were extra vibrant. In the market, garlands and bilva leaves were plentiful. We had another lunch at Adil's home and Henna hand painting after.

This was done by Adil's sister.

It was such a special night as Raju took us to temples and we walked the temple streets and palace grounds with bare feet. We were dressed auspiciously in white, taking milk and holy water with our hand.
On the night of Lord Shiva, may we cleanse our deep seated karma debts and may all our good wishes be blessed.

Day 20: The Last Ten Days

Time moves faster as we near the end of a trip and so I am counting as if beginning. This is the first of the last ten days.

I did not practice today to give my body time to rest on ladies' holiday. My day was marked in meals - from Nagarathna's to Green Leaf and Darshprakash, with a side trip to Loyal World and Mahalakshmi.

The "Philippine Team" had dinner with Govinda. It's been a while since we saw him. He seems younger, with his hair growing out.

Thinking about the past days and the coming days, I am feeling quieter here, taking everything in, truly just flowing. Except when I've taken a bit too much Chai, I feel like a quiet heart with big happy eyes, working on opening more and more.

Here's a photo from today's breakfast. The ultimate fruit platter - pomegranate, green raisins, green grapes, black grapes, strawberry, melon, guava, chico, orange, apple, dried figs, papaya, piña, bananas... I may have missed a couple more.
There were almonds and cashews, too and a dollop of homemade yogurt.

Day 19: Time to Rest (With My Lion)

And that's exactly what I did. I did have very nice chats with Salma then with Lisa in the morning at the rooftop over Chai.

For the rest of the day, it was just me and my Simha (the only wall decor in my room).  I didn't really notice until today. I took a photo of the photo and it turned out strangely realistic, as if I was in a jeep on a safari trip. 

* * *
Here are some symbolism meanings I picked up from the Web 
www.whats-your-sign.com/symbolic-meaning-of-lions.html

In Hinduism, the lion is an avatar (embodiment or personification) of Vishnu.

In Buddhism, the Buddha sits upon the lion as a throne of consistency, strength and wisdom.

When the lion comes to us it is a sign for us to step into our natural birthright of power. Each of us is born powerful and divine. The lion reminds us of this.

Other messages the lion shares with us:

❤ Hold your head high – even in times of conflict – conduct yourself with dignity
❤ Stand tall, remember your birthright of power
❤ Perhaps it's time to show your authority (not in a dominating way) but lead others with a loving heart
❤ It may be time to defend something that is dear to your heart – defend it fiercely if you must.
❤ Have courage, have faith.
***
I hear you roar, my friend. I'm listening.

Day 18: Here, have my dandelion

Ah, Friday led. I was at the shala by 6.20. One of the first few to arrive for the 7.30 class. We waited by the steps and when the doors opened, I picked my practice location, my prize for being early.  I began to unroll my mat when this girl rolled her mat right behind my heels, on my spot. I smiled and told her that I was already rolling my mat (maybe she didn't notice). She unfurled her towel on her mat and said, There's more room there. 

At this point, I thought of one of the scenes from Ice Age - the one with Sid the sloth, two prehistoric rhinos and the dandelion....

Sigh. I silenced my thoughts. This was not the day to be equivalent to two prehistoric rhinos. I got my mat and took another nice spot on the same row, near the photos of Guruji, and as far away from the girl as possible. This was a test. 

Non-attachment. Silent kindness. 

Now, practice compassion and send loving thoughts (yes, send it to Sid the sloth, my ego said quietly). I smiled to myself. We all need heaping servings of yoga for a long, long time. I know I do.

But it's fine, really. The nice lady (Jennifer) who sits next to me in my Sanskrit class moved her mat for me so I can have the smoother side of the rug.  What a lovely person. I thanked her.

It was another intense practice. 

After a full breakfast at The Green Hotel with Karen and Andrea, I went home to rest as I've been fighting my sore throat and afternoon fevers. Also, I'm officially on my cycle. No afternoon class for me today.

A. sent me a message to say he went home from work because he's sick - so is my little sister. Oh no, empathy fevers...

On the bright side, my brother called to say that his girlfriend gave birth this morning. My little nephew is here and he shares the same birthday as my youngest sister. Another child in the family! What a blessing and responsibility. It will not be easy but it will be very beautiful. 

Family. The 7th series.  

I explained the home situation to my brother, how independent and reliable he has to be now. This is his family, his priority. Amidst the challenges, this time is a joyful time. It was a heartfelt conversation.

After we spoke, I remembered everything that was perched on my heart, these many little nests on my tired branches. I finally welcomed the opening. 

I thought of my Dharma. My Karma. Theirs. Ours. How much of mine is for them? 

* * *

Photo of the day: Sharath's boy as I was waiting for my first coconut.

Day 17: Emptying the Cup

We now have an 8.30 start time although I wasn't sure. I stayed at the back in case we misunderstood. I'll just slip quietly out the door if he sends me out.

You, Philippine.... He was looking at me still saying something but I was a bit too flustered to understand.

Me? I stood up, looked at my sisters,
Ano daw?
Ikaw daw. Go!

So I went. Up the stage again. It's okay. I practiced and loved it.

I know I am healing something. It's more than these afternoon fevers, or my sore throat (please, no pun). I am liquefying, washing away, flooding inside.

The cup must be empty to be filled. Who said that again?

While waiting for my soul to rehydrate. Here's what I have for my body. Three of these now, after practice.

Day 16: Post-Practice Thoughts

Oh, I am loving my practice and these post-practice reflections (confrontations). I am loving this chikitsa, this moving meditation and the lessons of the day that are strung together by little moments. They are so easy to miss.

In class today, Larkshmi said "Why you want to feed baby dosa when it cannot even drink water yet?" Or something like that. We go a step at a time in this practice (or in this case, re-learning Sanskrit or scriptures). We take our time to really listen even if - and especially if - our minds want to jump right away into our interpretation of whatever it is we want to learn.

Often, we wrestle with ourselves, our capabilities, wanting to breakthrough, needing validation. It takes practice being on the mat and being out of it.

I ask myself: if you are stiff inside - not wanting to forgive, to bend humbly, to be kind to those "unlike" you - what is the use of being limber outside? Oh, but this ego is always trying to fortify itself. It is too easy to be convinced by our own justifications to act in the ways we do, to live within the labels we know.

Maybe that is why we are gifted with yoga. Maybe we are clamoring to be broken open so we can finally feel what it is like to be unbound and one with all. Holy but not holier-than-thou. Just light recognizing light from the cracks as we break.

Day 15: Happy Hearts Day

It was an intense practice. A beautiful one. Tesa was beside me and I felt her strength.

I find, as I fall deeper in love with this practice, I am more attentive to each pose, embracing each one wherever we are on that day. It's not less of a challenge but is much sweeter than rushing through the sequence, trying to "progress." It is more like trying to discern flavors from a dish with the intent of cooking something like it, rather than ravenously finishing everything to get to the dessert (much as I love desserts). It is sitting with someone you love on a dinner date and enjoying the connection and conversation rather than the, er, potential after dinner activities.

Ah, the quality of love changes over time, with care. It is deeper, truer.

It is that way even in asana. The poses offer more than the pride of accomplishing them. They offer lessons, healing in our many layers.

* * *
For breakfast, we went back home and had a very nice lunch at Anu's. I did not go shopping and slept in the afternoon. Rest was calling (and I now have fever). The weather is changing, getting very hot. Tesa prepared a homeopathy remedy for me during my first few days and I'll be taking this again. We're all feeling a bit feverish. Must be from all the love being sent our way. And so thank you, everyone, for letting your heart give and receive as I am halfway through this journey.

I am sending you love, too. ❤

Day 14: Practice...

(My little Bhagavad Gita book's cover)

New time. 9am. Front row and happy .  It's an art to practice in a packed shala but if we can make spaces within our body, there certainly is space outside.  I did accidentally have my foot on Ellie's head... And someone's foot on my nose (which is a drishti challenge). There are moments of martial arts maneuvering as you save yourself from receiving someone's chakrasana or being kicked in a jump back (or kicking someone, for that matter).

The amazing thing about practicing here at The Source is that it challenges all these preferences to which we've attached ourselves (I want to practice earlier/later, I don't like full shalas, It's too hot/cold, I don't like waiting, I want to be adjusted in this pose, blah blah blah...) Add the crazy/beautiful place in the mix (our jeepney drivers are nothing to their rickshaw drivers...) and you'll be in a great process of transformation - if you let it. 

I'm back to my Sanskrit and Bhagavad Gita classes and this time Hatha Yoga Pradipika, too. 

अत्याहारः परयासश्छ परजल्पो नियमाग्रहः |

जन-सङ्गश्छ लौल्यं छ षहड्भिर्योगो विनश्यति || १५ ||

उत्साहात्साहसाद्धैर्यात्तत्त्व-जञानाश्छ निश्छयात |

जन-सङ्ग-परित्यागात्ष्हड्भिर्योगः परसिद्ध्यति || १६ ||

(I copied Sanskrit off HYP from my phone...I have yet to read this with ease)

Larkshmi expounds -

Yoga is destroyed by overeating, fatigue, talkativeness, not following Yama and Niyama, company and fickle-mindedness... 

Too much is not good anytime, he says.

Yoga flourishes with enthusiasm, firm resolve, courage, positive thinking, determination, and giving up company of people.

In Yoga, don't stick only to asana. That's only a small percentage of the work. 

Well said. We are work-in-progress and there's so much to do.  Practice, practice. 

Day 13: Sunday Shining

Early start for Sunday Led. We were at the shala almost an hour before. I took my place beside Ai again.  I am loving the openness and also feeling the need for strength. On the mat and off the mat. 

In the afternoon, we went to Sharath's conference. My friends looked absolutely beautiful in their saree. 

I truly love this time. Sharath spoke of Surya Namaskara, Yoga as a tool to "open the cage," the relationship between teacher and student and keeping the practice (and staying with one teacher) amidst obstacles, doubts, the politics of yoga, the different kinds of people who come to Mysore with different motivations ("It's fun" to see them, he says and laughs)... 

He speaks of what Guruji has taught him and yet he speaks in our time. He has an open, beautiful smile. He looks you in the eye.  He tells stories from the scriptures of India's great saints and and relates this to the world today as we know it (from tiger skins to eco-friendly mats and Yoga as the beautiful car that takes us through Life's Lombard street of ups and downs). 

I love his sense of humor. 
I love these Sunday Conferences.

That evening, I went to the Mysore Palace with Lou, Elaine, Cristoph, Lisa, and Eric. We braved the semi stampede to enter the gates. Raju was our wonderful guide. Wait five minutes, Madame. I did. We did. I beheld the sight of the palace, already beautiful without the (28,000 or 72,000?) lights. 

Then the lights came on. Wow. Today was a display of dazzling lights.

Day 12: Rest Day

Two photos.

Day 11: These Dreams

Today, the dreams came marching in. It is always this way at this part of my journey. The dreams come in waves that leave me shaken. I woke up crying, remembering the harshness of being in that old world. The dream was soaked in tears.

As I remember the dream, I think of how silence and not being hurtful is a brave kind of kindness. The mind does not speak that language. It thrives on drama and perceives quietude and gentleness to be a sign of weakness. I can no longer stand melodrama, and strength, for me, means upholding compassion when it is most difficult to do so.

I had a second dream - the dream of failing - I had no tears but I had that familiar feeling.

So the dreams came marching in. On cue, they arrived before my Friday led practice. Despite the lack of sleep, I kept some lightness but felt seeped of strength at the tail end. After practice, I went with Karen to her home and immensely enjoyed our chat and her very tasty masala chai.

I had to go back to the shala for chanting but lost my way around Gokulam on foot for a good twenty minutes with my heavy mat and a bright sun. I walked aimlessly trying not to let the fear well up inside. I saw Saraswati's shala, a small Krishna temple, two main roads (could have been one), a few houses under construction...That was a fine time to not have a working phone and a local phone.

I asked five random Indian women but they might have been as good with directions as I am. I dared not speak with the men until I asked help from two more ladies who still did not know what to tell me. A big man in a motorcycle intervened. He was going to take me to the shala. I just needed to hop on. I was strangely calm for someone immensely distressed. I offered to follow him on foot. And we did that for a minute until he said this was not going to work. I prayed, hopped on and got to the shala, 15 minutes late for chanting. When I came in, I was so happy to see Gela I gave her my last piece of chocolate from the chocolate man (why I didn't find his store when I was lost is a mystery to me).

Of course I thanked God for sending Mr. Raj on a motorbike to bring me to the shala.

That afternoon, I got a local phone, paid Green Hotel a visit, had dinner at one of the hotels (I forget the name but I remember the nice Indian wedding setup), and checked out Fluid's DJ and dance scene and finally, caught up with sleep.

"To sleep perchance to dream." But this time, I didn't.

Day 10: We leave the ego and slippers

We leave the ego and slippers at the door and get the gift of that unexpected place in the shala. For me today, I got the stage on the right side of Sharath (Well, his chair actually...)

I felt a lighter practice despite the cool breeze coming through the window. Inside, I feel the questions rise and twist and and burn in labor beneath my breath.

Today's off the mat highlight #1 was another home cooked meal. We were invited to have lunch at Adil's home so we went to the market first to come see him. Adil makes these wonderful oils and incense. And his mom makes such wonderful meals. They had just moved into their home and we were blessed to be invited to share a meal with them. (More photos and info in a separate blog entry...)

Highlight #2 is of Saree. We went to Rashinkar and another one at Mysore Complex. I have yet to choose one for me although I tried one on. Mysore silk with beadwork. The colors sparkled with softness and intricate trimming. Hand-folded pleats and a shoulder piece draped. Beautiful. All from one cloth. All for 11,000 Rupees (sewing not yet included).

I thought of Kunti and her palace and her loves...I thought of the Princesses of Mysore. Oh, these ancient royal Indian dreams that do not belong to me and our time. We have but sequins, silk, and scriptures to remind us....

Just as well. Tomorrow, I leave my sequined slippers and ego outside the shala. My thoughts will be covered in breath and single pleats of forward folding. Still I hope to shimmer. Within.

Day 9: Learning India

And now my time begins at 9.30. Fresh from the moon day, I got my place by the door. Practice was not light (must be too much Marzipan from Mahalakshmi ...) Still, every practice is a gift, each one is good work.

It's Andrea's birthday and Karen is here. We went to the house of 3 sisters (and six plates :)) for another delicious home cooked lunch. Home cooked meals give a deep experience of India. This creature/country is the stranger that embraces you until you fall in love or walk away. And somehow, it reminds me of home - when stripped naked of cosmopolitan Manila. 

A home cooked meal here means the food is prepared as you wait, seated on the floor in a bare space, amidst knickknacks on the side. The chapati is hot and fresh from the oven and the food is served and eaten by hand. It is a lovely, intimate experience. It is real. It is not contrived. India is the place to break away from all the labels we pick up for ourselves, if only for a while.  If one allows herself, one can fall in love with India often during the day. 

Dessert was at the Corner House. Fantastic ice cream especially as the days are getting hotter.

At 3.45 shala time, we had our Sanskrit class with Larkshmi, chanted the Gita and studied the 
Hatha Yoga Pradipika. 

The moon may no longer be full but the days certainly remain so.

Day 8: 1st Mysore Moon Day

We spent a lot of time on the rooftop of the Oasis today. Beginning and Ending our Moon Day there.
In between, we managed to go to Casino Park (again because Paneer Manchuria is just delicious!) and Museum of India (for shawls).

Moon Day. Rest Day.

View at the top (from the stairs)...

Day 7: Before the Moon Day

Today, I was given a new time. Tomorrow is a moon day.

We were waiting at the foyer as with all days. When he came to our area to check on who would come in next, he asked someone behind me what her assigned time was. 10.30.

Too early. Come back at 10.30.

I inhaled quietly. That was my time, too. He looked me straight in the eye. You. What time? I mouthed 10.30

You come 10.15.

And that is the way it is. It may change tomorrow. I do not know. The teacher has his reasons without having to explain. In a world where almost everyone runs around wanting to know more, learn fast, rise above, there are those who were given the difficult task to tame, to teach, to lead. In this world filled with opinions easily broadcasted to hundreds of "friends" and "followers," those who dare teach need so much more compassion/ conviction/courage (and charisma, maybe?) Which is why I have such deep trust and respect for teachers.

While we may humbly ask questions, we are also setting some aside, entrusting ourselves. We come as students, not as customers. Of course, the first step is to be chosen (on both sides with intelligence). The teacher and student find each other. Such is love.

During practice, he came to me after three Urdvha Danurasana on the floor. He stood right in front of me as I did another three drop backs and came up. He then brought me deeper. I was grateful for his attention at that moment and for his presence throughout (from 4am to 12pm, and a 1 am practice).

In the afternoon, T, S and I went to Anu's, anticipating the full moon with fully lined eyes. We had dinner at Casino Park and were ready for the full moon party that never happened for us. We went home to sleep instead. And that was absolutely fine.

Day 6: Sunday

Sunday Led starts at 6 a.m. The ladies went ahead and I did not know how to get to the shala from my new home. Thank God for Ed who decided to go to the shala later than his usual time. I walked with him. He's been coming here every year for the past three years and is thinking of getting a place near the shala...

By the time I got to the shala, the steps were already full. Sharath's voice could be heard from outside. He was halfway through his 4am class.

Outside, we wrapped our covers tighter around our shoulders and in silence. When the door finally opened, everyone stood.  We closed all the spaces between us and inched ourselves into the shala, to free ourselves for a split second, claim our space and then reclaim the spaces in our breath and bodies.  To be free for a while in hopes of "for ever."

Breakfast at Santosha. The young lady there spoke softly and sweetly, she wore a turban and her face shone. She reminded me of a young Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa.  It must be her energy (and it could very well be just me) but my brown bread toast with banana and nutella was so nurturing I could have sworn it felt sattvic. 

At 10 am, we all went back to the shala for Sharath's conference. My first. He walked in, a phone rang, he cracked a joke and the shala was filled with laughter for a moment. 

He began.  There was young boy who would not talk...

His words and humor glowed with him. He is now Guru and I felt love. 

After the conference, we had lunch and did a bit of grocery shopping. Today I also discovered India's marzipan and sweet almond oil. Oh sweet love. India is seeping into my veins beautifully.

My day ended with laundry, rest, and photos uploaded.

* * *
Santosha. Contentment. May we all practice this Niyama and be blessed.

Day 5: From Palace to Oasis

Despite the lack of sleep, I woke up to a beautiful chilly morning. I spoke with A (I miss him!) and then headed to the courtyard dining area.

As this is the much awaited day off, I relished my breakfast buffet of toast, stuffed dosa, scrambled eggs with cheese and mushroom, the garden view and my delicious honeyed coffee. I had a wonderful conversation with my little love (my son) as I ate.

Still feeling a bit under the weather, I headed back to the room to rest and then I got a call from Tesa. I'm moving to Urban Oasis. Half the price, closer to the shala. I checked out quickly, packed and thanked my room guardians for my stay. I love that place! I know i will return. My heart broke a little as I walked away from my room towards the front desk. It was a wonderful haven and I would have stayed throughout the month but practicality (i.e., my bank account) says I should head to the oasis. It was a blessing to stay there for a while.

I am now grateful to have a new home with Gela and Soraya.

The room is nice, clean. There is a balcony overlooking someone's backyard (with a little pond). Hmmm, I am being followed by ponds, this time. I hear the cars and rickshaws on the street. I hear the conversations in the other rooms. I settle in quickly.

Lunch is in a Chinese restaurant and we went to see the new pool... We're feeling a bit under the weather and I slept in the afternoon. Tomorrow is another led practice and I need my lightness and strength.

No dinner. Just lots of water. Starve a fever, starve a fever...

My heart remains full.

* * *

Day 4: First Friday

First Friday led practice at 730 but I was at the shala by 630. 

The steps were already fully occupied and I sat with Karen and Sherry (new friends) exchanging funny stories - as we were all first timers in India.

Somehow, It was comforting to know I wasn't the only one left in the car at the side street in the middle of nowhere early morning. I'm not the only who booked a hotel rather "far" from the shala, and I wasn't the only one who, upon landing on the bed on that first day in India, asked herself - What in the world am I doing here? 

We're alright now. And what we're doing is waiting and hoping to get a good spot with loving people who practice ahimsa. 

There was a batch ahead of us finishing and a crowd waiting without a queue. On your marks, get set...

I got the spot behind the door. Sharath opened with the chant. I practiced there until Trikonasana and then he moved me right outside the door at the foyer. Just like in the shala at Yoga Manila Ortigas, I had 7 mats in front of me. Only I wasn't the one teaching.  

I continued practicing. Sharath made me face the other way during the seated poses. His familiar voice rang across the room, I glanced at him as he sat on his chair with his newspaper on stage. I felt him roam around the room. 

His little boy entered the foyer and called him to open the door. His daughter said, "Bye, Papa" before going to school. I remembered Paul telling me family is THE practice. I agree and it was wonderful to see yoga perfectly enmeshed with everyday life.

Throughout practice, Sharath was in a light mood, joking and saying "Why you in a hurry?"  "Hungry?" 

It was a good practice, although for me, more difficult. The intensity was different. 

While waiting for the chanting class at 11.30, I had breakfast at Vivian's Cafe with Angie. 

Then we headed back to the shala for chanting. In the middle of it, Sharath walked by, clapped and said "Very good! I like it!" 

The class got happily surprised and disoriented. The room beamed for that shining second then continued.

Home cooked lunch at Nagarathna's in Lakshmipuran was fantastic. We had a delicious fill of at least seven types of Indian dishes. We then headed to the market to get some pure essential oils. I was heady with the sights of the local market, the persistence of the vendors selling wooden baby elephant puzzles, silver anklets, flutes and mini coconut drums, and of course, the sweet smells of sandalwood, jasmine, vanilla... I got the Mysore Herbal oil.

Dinner was banana smoothies at Anu's with Gela, Soraya and Tesa. Then I headed back to my palace, washed the day's wear, took a shower and lay in bed. Though exhausted, I could not sleep easily (and someone was dragging heavy furniture from upstairs again). 

But sleep found me somehow.

Day 3: Being Among Friends

(Taken near the Chakra House)

One of my best blessings for this trip is having my beautiful yoginis from Manila. It was a gift when we all simply said, "Yes, I'm going." No elaborate plans, no fuss. We almost did not get our visas in time. We made separate arrangements. Yet here we are now. Sharing something so beautiful. Manila shalas represented. We are, afterall, really one family no matter what.

I went to the foyer and saw Tesa and Soraya, and gave them a tight hug each before we were called. Gela was already inside. ("One more, one more.) We were the last three called.

I was placed right in front of Sharath's office. It was a very small space and I was perpendicular to about four other yogis. My fingertips in Surya Namaskar ekam would almost touch the ceiling. No matter. Part of the yoga journey really is to find that inner space in any place. That was the space given to me. Until Parsvotanasana, anyway.

I heard Sharath say "You. Come here" and in the midst of the other hundred dedicated "You's" in the shala, in spite of my attention to my drishti, I knew the "you" was me. I paused to check. He was looking straight at me. I picked up my mat and towel and managed to quickly walk towards him and my new blessed space. In hindsight, I realize I was in a mini-adrenaline rush because my mat weighs 7lbs. and I found my way fast enough without disturbing any of the 20 or so people I needed to cross....

And it was a blessed space. Right beside Tesa and Gela. The lightness remained with me.

On this second day of practice, I felt the comfort and depth of openness inside. I truly enjoyed my backbends and today I did my dropbacks in peace (no internal meeting with multiple selves deliberating if we should it, how many , why we should etc etc).

There was a very beautiful shift that started on the day I was to leave for India...

This is the path that we cannot pummel through, although the ego always wants to say otherwise. Yoga is a slow unfolding and it is true - it takes years of persistence, patience, and compassionate intelligence to really feel - and keep feeling - the asana. "Getting it" is one thing but really feeling the textures and flavors of the body and mind and heart deep inside is where the the practice leads. It is a relationship and as in any relationship, knowing is just the beginning. Nurturing each pose, each breath, each thought on the mat and, moreso, bringing this attention and compassion off the mat requires a relentless, loving, lifelong practice.
And then trusting in the magic, in the process.

Maybe this is what Guruji meant. Do your practice and all is coming.

After our coconuts, we met up with Aina for lunch and I was introduced to Raju (our superman here). I also met Angie, Soraya's friend.

In the afternoon, after our alone time and space, we joined the Kirtan at the Chakra House and had a dosa dinner at the Green Leaf.

Full day of Beauty. Day 3.

Day 2: First Day of School

Today marks my first time ever to practice at the shala. February 1. I woke up early for my Pranayama and chanting, shower, then light breakfast. I still had time to prepare and calm down all the excitement brewing inside me.

The rickshaw ride from here to the shala takes 5 minutes. I waited at the lobby with my school bag - mat, towel, change of clothes, ID... In my head, Sappho's words were on repeat - I will let my body flow like water over the gentle cushions. First day of school. 

We waited to be called at the foyer. Sharath would look at us by the shala door. One more... One more... One more... One more... And finally...

Here, Sharath says. I roll out my mat on the second row, third from the left wall, go to the changing room, stuff my stuff in locker 30 and head back to my beloved mat. I practice. 

Today, I practiced full primary, no frills. No prep poses. The lightness remained. I was joyful. I got a very different adjustment in Supta Kurmasana - the hands, same but the feet were just placed quite easily behind my (relaxed) neck and I was told to lift, no extra rocking. So I lifted. And then, I did it again. Sharath was walking around and somehow I knew he was seeing me. Well, he was seeing all but there is something about great teachers. They sense and connect with an attention so abundant and giving to everyone.

As I think of great teachers, I am thankful to Paul for sending me an anchor, rays of light and a gentle breeze as I set sail here.  He knew what to say. Of course. 

I felt complete surrender in my practice (so much so that I was truly joyful all throughout the asana, most especially and most surprisingly, in backbends). I loved every moment, every asana, every breath and all the perceived imperfections and new spaces.

Ah, in this place for an hour and a half or so, there is no time for drama. Just obedience.  And yes, Magic. 

After practice, I went back to my place first. Some of my beloved Manila yoginis are here and I was to meet them but I fell asleep. I will catch them tomorrow. 

Tonight, I will curl up with Vikram Seth's Two Lives and sleep (again). 
Grateful.