Day 16 (Aug 29): New Moon and Savasana

We started extra early today. Fire Ceremony was at 6pm. Pranayama followed but as it is the new moon and my cycle days, I was told to do a very soft practice. Badha Konasana and Passive backbends.

I believe my hamstring is healing from all the Reiki, Infrared Sauna and gentle straight leg stretches.

Paul started his Pranayama class and we do our Pranayama practice twice a day now. The afternoon session helped for the little stresses I got from Manila.  Pranayama truly has a profound effect on me and I will keeping this practice with a deeper commitment.

On these days, I am not allowed Uddiyana, Agni Sara and Kapalabhati. Instead, I lay in Savasana, on my stomach and practiced my Jiva, Brahma and Simha Mudras, Nadi Shodana, Shitali... (Paul got me distracted in Brahma Mudra though...)

The remarkable thing about this day is my Savasana. Whenever we would lay in Savasana, I fell into it deeply almost immediately, without waiting. It's as if I drink it up from thirst but in a very soothing, natural way.

There's so much to learn and I do love this practice. I find myself wishing I didn't redo my schedule but I also miss my kids so very much. A few more days till I come home. Meanwhile, I am here now.

It's rather amazing too that this is officially my last day of employment. No more Strategic Planning Calendars, no more balanced score cards, no more special (classified) projects... But I am in a place that will not allow me to miss these. I can only be grateful for the 13 years of corporate work. I did not know this day coincided with the new moon until a few days back. It is truly the closing of this time and the opening of another.

After we exhale, we inhale anew...

Day 15 (August 28): Welcome to Paul's Pranayama Course

I practiced Pranayama this morning and nothing else. My cycle coincides with moon days. Tomorrow is a new moon and maybe I will have a light modified practice.

It's time to welcome Pranayama. There are 22 in this course bit a handful of us are leaving by the end of the week. Paul opened the afternoon session with introductions and a light Pranayama practice.

I learned this years back from Paul bit it bears repeating...

The OM should be felt entering through the area of the Apana, rising through the spine and then out through the mouth, prolonging the vibration of Mmmmm... (The A-U portion is just 3 beats of Shiva's drum)...

"Take a nice inhale..."

ॐ OM

Day 14 (Aug 27): 2 weeks down

It is hard to believe I have been here for 2 weeks now. 1 have only one week to go.

My cycle days have begun. As this is a free day, Keisha and I went to Chaweng to buy souvenirs for our family. It's busy and provincial but with a lot of tourists (and a lot of haggling). It was tiring...

In the evening, I went for the infrared steam.

The energy is shifting...

I noticed I've been drawn to the meditation books so I signed up for the 10-day Vipassana course in October. Aside from this, I have nothing much to say.  I'm enjoying the Silence.

Day 13 (Aug 26): Last Day of Sankhya

It is the last day of our Sankhya and Second Series course. It always amazes me how quickly time flies here. In the morning, we had a fire ceremony.

May we listen to good, auspicious things with our ears.

May we see good things with our eyes...

Om Bhadram Karnebih Srnuyama Devah

Bhadram Pasyamaksabhiryajatrah
Sthirairangaistustuvamsastanubhih
Vyasema Devahitam Yadayuh

Om Svasti na Indro Vrddhasravah
Svasti Nah Pusa Visvavedah
Svasti Nastarksyo Aristanemih
Svasti No Brhaspatirdadhatu

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti

Pranayama and Asana followed after, as the mornings normally go. To me, they continue to be beautiful. My left hamstring is still in pain and so for the practice, I went very slowly, taking Savasanas as needed. I left out Kurmasana and Supta Kurmasana, where it hurts the most and stopped at Upavista Konasana so I could work on a few poses from second series, making up for the lost poses in Primary. It is Friday afterall. I was last to leave the shala. Bente went in and caught me in these poses.

Elonne helping me come up

Halasana

* * *

For Sankhya, I felt rather emotional in the session (these bloody hormones...) Still, it was a surprise, considering the earlier slokas talked about the evolution of the 25 principles of creation (much like our grade school science books enumerates senses, organs, etc. Also, given that it is atheistic as a philosophy,  could not relate to it much. Yoga later adds Ishwara (God). 

But today, as we covered the last slokas, I felt a sweetness for Prakrti (Yes, Nature in Sanskrit).

Sloka 59

rangasya darsayitva nivartate nartaki yatha nrtyat

purusasya thatha'tmanam prakasaya vinivartate prakrtih

Prakrti functions for the sake of Purusa. "As a dancer ceaser from the dance after having been seen by the audience; so also prakrti ceases after having manifested herself to purusa."*

Sloka 61

Prakrteh sukumarataram na kincid astiti me matir bhavati

ya drstasmi'ti punar na darsanam upaiti purusasya 

"It is my thought that there is nothing more delicate than prakrti, who (says to herself) 'I have been seen, and never again comes into the sight of purusa'*

Professor Rao must be feeling it too as he he says -

She has given all objects that can be seen, heard, touched, enjoyed...

She has given Buddhi for liberation.

She is most delicate and most sensitive.

What did I learn?

Purusa. Prakrti.

Buddhi. Ahamkara. Manas.

5 Sensory Organs. 5 Motor Organs.

5 Subtle Elements. 5 Gross Elements.

Purusa is one of the 25 principles. Everything else is Prakrti. She is the net that binds and the net that will liberate and when she liberates, she will forever liberate. Her job is done. The subtle body merges back with her.

She performs her dance, from beginning to end and again and again - she has created her stage, the music, the script, the whole show. He watches, a spectator. At the end, as each song comes to pass fully liberated from the dance, he says I have seen her. She says I have been seen*.

Like a love that comes to pass, it is done. Though the two are still in proximity, no further creation takes place*.

*The Samkhyakarika of Isvarakrsna

Day 12 (Aug 25): Tama

Tama. In Sanskrit, it means proper method. In Filipino, we've adopted it to mean correct (like a correct answer vs. a wrong one). Strangely, or aptly, the themes I have coincide with some of the words that we've adopted in Sanskrit. There are many...mukha, dukha, tyaga... In the other post, I mentioned saksi. I've also noticed some were adopted in the Ilocano dialect like rupa (form). I have always loved language and etymology and how we've chosen to adopt and evolve words is fascinating to me.

* * *

I didn't get to sleep well last night. I'm energized now but I tossed and turned the whole night. I was in an out of dreams and places. In the edge of sleep and non-sleep, realities as we know it do not seem to matter much, and the best kept ones have a chance to unfold.

Still, it's quite difficult when a full practice awaits in the morning.

The beautiful difference is the way we open our days. I love opening my days this way. Gratefulness. Forgiveness and Guidance. I love the Gayatri and Mahamrityunjaya Mantras and the sweet bijahs that grow from them. I love the transition cues from the singingTibetan bowl. I love Pranayama and the smoothness and the sweetness I am able to get from it. Of course, I love my asana practice. I am gathering strength but more so, patience and humility.

We're 15 slokas away from completing the Sankhya text. The first course ends tomorrow. 2 weeks have gone by.

Today, Paul told us stories for the rainy afternoon. He was sharing his experiences I think in a deeper way. For me, it's a way of bringing us closer to a more intense practice, reminding us of why we are moving in this direction and softening the urge to go into a mad dash of contortions. He wants us to understand the process and why are in it or why we should be...

I love the humor he injects with each session. As I teach, I may not be able to pull off his crazy antics in class but I would love to share the passion and care and integrity in the practice.

So here he is.

Irish storytellers are called Seanchai. You couldn't really tell Paul was Irish by how he talks. Except when he says the words "free" or "freedom"

* * *

Today, the news came out on Steve Jobs' resignation from Apple. His speech at Stanford is very popular but it truly resonates with me.

 

"Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life....

The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle....

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.....

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart....

Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away...

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

Tama siya.

Day 11 (Aug 24): Love Song

Overcast. I wanted to see the monk walking but it is drizzling now. I did get to see three dogs at the pool area. There was an alpha dog bullying two other dogs. I got one of the frightened dogs to sit with me.

I did end up seeing the monk almost belatedly but I wasn't able to take good photographs. Just this as he walked on...

Practice was good. Paul wants me to do drop backs on my own now and just work on coming back to standing. I need to practice Bakasana B. We're also going much faster with Sankhya now. More than half way through so hopefully we will finish all 70 slokas.

For the asana session, Paul made us do some restorative poses for backbends (with music!) Oh there are days I just love practicing with music. Then he put on a Adele's cover for The Cure's Love Song (one of my favorite songs). A great version for passive heart opening.

Paul explaining...

  

  

Last night, I dreamed I could see people's auras and touch them.

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am home again

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am whole again

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel

like i am young again

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am fun again

however far away i will always love you

however long i stay i will always love you

whatever words i say i will always love you

i will always love you

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am free again

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am clean again

however far away i will always love you

however long i stay i will always love you

whatever words i say i will always love you

i will always love you

(The Cure)

Yoga and Tattoo: Those I Met in Yoga Thailand (Part 1)

I have marked each year after the cancer with a tattoo to celebrate, to be grateful, and to remember what I should not take for granted - this life. In Yoga communities, I often see a few tattooes (some hidden) and beyond portraits of faces of the beautiful people I meet, I wanted to show a different profile. Here are some of them. There will be more to come...

Costa

The mantras and Ganesh were done by a Thai Monk in the traditional way. It took 3 hours to complete. Very brave for a farang. Strong like this strong practitioner.

Aoy

The tattoo is not of yogic symbols but is of a special meaning to her. Moolah bandha flying. (If you see how she floats up and down in practice, it reflects this beautiful tattoo).

Laura

The Kanji symbol means wolf. The wolf is respected for its strength, loyalty and courage. 

Day 10 (Aug 23): Laghu

I am so grateful. This is the first thought that came to mind this morning.

I contemplated on bringing my camera with the huge Telefoto lens and decided I would just sit quietly. Of course, when I decide to leave my camera in the room, I have all these great things come to me...

Thank goodness for phone cameras...

Everything is free and light and beautiful in today's asana practice. I am working on the drop backs under Paul's watch. The days seem to go by so very quickly.

Love. Light. Ethereal.

Day 9 (Aug 22): Saksi

It's raining. I checked which nostril was blocked and now it's the left nostril whereas normally it would be the right. Ah, my nostrils are attuned to changes in the weather.

It's already 6.21 am and I'm still in the room...

* * *

So I finally got out of our apartment and into the shala. I did not know what to expect coming from the very low energy yesterday. I had a teaspoon of honey while watching the sky change colors.

* * *

Aaaand we're back. Energy and some semblance of lightness in the practice. I'm still working on my back bends. I used to say that Urdvha Dhanurasana was my teacher pose. Look, she has so many relatives. They all want to teach me. I am beginning to love all of them. Beginning.

So, I spent the afternoon finishing my write up for Reiki. Here's Claudia. I told her about Day 1 of the clearing process.

I also want to remember my beautiful Italian friend Laura who only knows one Filipino phrase (translate smelly b*tt) thanks to her houselady! She's wonderful though and super gorgeous...

 * * *

We're doing second series now and the workshop is on Pasasana. Paul made us do prep work. The afternoons have been intense with the workshop modules.

Paul in just one of the many preps we did for Pasasana. 

Tomorrow we will do extra poses before entering 2nd series so modified Salabasana and Dhanurasana and Supta Virasana... Plus the prep work on Pasasana. I'm allowed to go into second series after Upavista Konasana.

Lightness stay with me.

* * *

Trivia: Saksi (Witness) is a Sanskrit word we adopted in our language. In Sanskrit, it is pronounced as Shaksi, though.

That's my theme today, or maybe these weeks. There is this kind of witnessing.

Day 8 (Aug 21): Starting 21

I have been here for one full week now. It is also the beginning of my 21 Day Process for Reiki, falling incidentally on the 21st.

I woke up early to be by the beach and visualize my attunements. I also am doing self healing especially as my shoulders have begun to open more. My throat feels parched and slightly sore so I am taking a bit of fresh ginger and water now. I am sending more Reiki out into the world and then into my practice.

* * *

Pranayama was beautiful. I reached 12 breaths somehow. Asana was not as connected. I felt very tired and I had to take Savasana.

I'm trying to understand this low energy today. Is it because of my 21 day process?
For some reason, I am drinking more water...

In the afternoon, we met Baddha Konasana again. One of my most favorite poses. Paul was wonderfully recounting his journey of Baddha Konasana and his mantra on allowing the hips to open. He also told us his story of his lost lotus. The Yoga process is one that allows us to celebrate and be humbled.

I hope tomorrow's practice brings me the gift of lightness.

Here's Paul... And also my princess practicing with me before I left for YT...

Day 7 (Aug 20): Reiki 3

So yes, I finally completed Reiki 3. It was a beautiful day to have it and for this round, I was on my own. I will be spending time to think about how I can plant the seeds to grow this. Right now, I'm letting the day settle.


Reiki has given me purpose for the flow I feel from my hands. It has been a peacefully magical journey for me and the people I love who ask and accept this light.

It was a slow unraveling for me just like the unraveling of Yoga.

I feel I prepared for the session well with 7 (yes, 7) buckwheat pancakes, 2 glasses of carrot, celery and apple juice and a mango lassi in between.

Of course, for dinner, I ate the corn salad and got ready for 2 rounds of steaming.

Tonight, I will send Reiki energy to as many people I love.

Lineage.

Day 6 (Aug 19): Swaha

Power was out this morning. I kept waking up throughout the night to sounds, imagined, I think. I'm not sure though.

It's a Friday. We had a fire ceremony and we were to do a "light" version of Primary. No jump backs and jump throughs. Instead, we were to do Savasanas in between sets of poses and come very very connected to each pose, activating feet, hands, bandhas, taking in more than five full breaths. It was very intense.

I've been eating a bit more than the past days and have been toying with the idea of a detox.

For the Sankhya lessons, I sit across Paul. We're already on the 12th sloka of our text and I'm enjoying the lesson. It's very academic, true, but it's just a gift to appreciate all the materials available in deepening this practice.

I loved Paul's class as well. We're getting deeper into the second half of Primary as a set up for various second series poses.

I want to take photos of tattoos of the people here. Just want to have a new set of photos for this round...

For now though, here's my photo of the day.

Swaha....

Hail! So be it...

Day 5 (Aug 18): Ozymandias and Super Slow Surya Namaskara

I've already lost track of the days.

I wake up early to watch the sea and sky. This time around, there are no hints of waves, the breeze is cooler and the rocks are jutting out of the waters throughout the day.

There are many reasons why I keep coming back here. The 5Ps of my yearly pilgrimage.

Paul

Place
Palate (I initially thought to put phood...for shame)
People
Practice

That's in no specific order, really.

I loved my morning practice. My back feels liberated. Finally. There are so many things opening inside but I really do need to take care of this left hamstring.

I also officially welcome Supta Vajrasana. I usually wait for Paul to give me poses although I've done this back home. Paul is great at bringing each pose and bringing practitioners a bit of humbling. He often reminds us to express every drip of goodness from the set of poses we have at the moment, relishing the breath and length and width rather than expediency or doing the poses "without integrity"

Now that I'm on 4th day of Mysore practice, I'm feeling Psoas for myself.

We again paid extra attention to our Surya Namaskars to properly build for Asana (primary and second series).

For Sankhya, I love the little references Professor Rao includes in his discussion. Buddha stories. Scientific facts... Today, it was Ozymandias, Shelley's poem.

Ozymandias

by Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822)

I met a traveler from an antique land

Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Nothing perceived is permanent.

You cannot create new things. Only manifest things that are hidden.

Nothing created, nothing destroyed

For Paul's session, we did a few poses from Surya Namaskar, very slowly and with deep connection to the breath, paying attention to full energy of the pose. I'm going to modify my classes to include more of these. Additional instructions for Parivritta Parsvakonsana without kneeling on the floor, adding Ardha Chandrasana, more guidance on Janusirsana A....More guidance in Surya A and B, all in all.

Paul showing Apana... 

In the evening, I steamed. It's fantastic plus I love the company of my steam mates, occasional frog or spider not withstanding.

There was a Tuko in the shower tonight. This is the most I've seen Tukos in any one period in my life! I hope it brings a lot of luck.

Day 4 (Aug 17): Do You Believe...

...there are fleas on other dogs?

This is from the story of Professor Rao when he talked about the 4th and 5th Sloka of the Samkhyarika of Isvarakrsna and discussed how we come about knowledge through perception, inference and reliable authority. Still with these, we cannot know everything, can we? He tells this story to draw parallels when people sometimes ask whether there are other beings like us in the universe.

Two fleas were chatting on their dog and one asked... Do you think there are fleas on other dogs?

Beyond fleas and martians, I had a few looming thoughts that disturbed my practice this morning.

Paul sat with me for lunch, just sharing his own views. In the afternoon, we went back to expanding and lengthening. Words to live by on and off the mat - keep the chin up, tail down, lift heart. Be in it.

Be in it.

Day 3 (Aug 16): Learning Sankhya

So today is the first official day of our lessons on Sankhya philosophy.

"What you find in this world is not just the mind's imagination, independent of our thinking; what we see around us is real and the SEER is also true"

See this is all true....

(all photos below taken this morning)

* * *

Neither Dorien nor I got adjusted in Baddha Konasana. Private joke. We had a good laugh about it over brunch. God, I love the food here.

Day 2 (Aug 15): Dawn Catcher

I woke up early this morning. 5:18 am. I needed to see the steely blue light of dawn before the day started though and I'm glad I did.

Paul opened the day at the meditation garden and I am back in the blazing arms of the fire ceremony. I truly love the mantras, chanting and ritual. If I were not an aspiring Raja Yogi, I would love to devote time for Bhakti.

Pranayama came next and I am now loving ten breaths with Kumbhaka. We stayed with Primary today and just as well. My Urdvha Danurasana is not yet ready from this pain. My lumbar spine is a bit kinder from the steam room session but it has not healed completely. My left hamstring is still achy.

I love Paul's small talks with me as I practice. He and Tiwariji are coming to the Philippines, he says...I want to see him, I say, right before my Surya B. Do I know Opus Dei? Do I know the movie about Escriva? I only nod then shake my head. I'm Ujjayi breathing, my dear guru....

So I had a beautiful practice and a sumptuous brunch with a little bit too much papaya. Today was supposed to be the start of Sankhya discussions but Professor Rao just arrived so we had a rather long break.

I had a beautiful talk with Keisha and then continued to read in the dining area, just lying on the cushions facing the beach till I fell asleep.

Paul began his session on Asanas and I remember exactly why I love him. It's the care about breath and the deeper dimensions of practice rendered with so much experience and copious amounts of silliness and laughter. He resonates with the gentler version of me. The Mohini, as G would say (Kali resonates with him more).

Some notes -

Clear the mind with the breath during asana practice. Feel and connect.

Asana is part of the yoga process and the meditative process. It has so much more potential than just a physical process.

Keep the pose alive with modification.

Keep the breath without compromise.

Enjoy the practice. Touch something inside which is the home of joy.

Remember Sthira Sukham Asanam.

There should be lightness and health. No restlessness and jerkiness.

Be generous with your breathing in the asanas.

Tomorrow's practice will be taken with longer breaths. Slower, longer, harder. That's the mantra from our evening discussion with Paul and Dorien. We were having girl talk when Paul sat with us. It was a hilarious conversation on adjustments and connections and younger days. The few very light ones I get to have with him that I love so much. We also talked about keeping away from messy hurtful things that can come out of connections. I can relate to his views.

Everyday steaming is turning me into one happy (meatless) dumpling.

Krishna's energy all over.

Day 1 (Aug 14): Back to Samahita

4.28 am. Sleep wasn't deep but it was a delicious rest being able to take baths and stay under the blankets. My Genius Mix of singer/songwriters was on. Perfect companion for an airport transit hotel.

This is breakfast.

I need to take a new perspective on the images and do right by Heraclitus. We never step into the same river twice. Or in this case three times.

* * *

The line was long at the Transfer Counter. I was first but for some reason, the ones behind me all got their boarding pass ahead. More efficient ground steward, I guess.

Mine had a boarding pass printer that won't print my boarding pass. It printed out of efficient ground steward's, though.

Half point for Mercury.

Alas, they confiscated the less than half bottle of Endless Love cologne I love that Yni got for me. I thought they wouldn't. I was told it's not the content. It's the container. Sounds like a break up line to me. Hmmm. So I broke up unwillingly with Endless Love. No attachment. I'll just buy a new one. Love cannot be bought but a bottle of Victoria's Secret Endless Love can.

Another half point for Mercury.

I'm consoling myself listening to Ella and Louis at Gate A2.

* * *

Aha! Free Internet! That's counted as 3 points. Full moon wins over Mercury Retrograde. Ha!

Oh, Priorities...

* * *

At Samui Airport.

So the good news is that I got good aisle seats and the bad news is that my luggage handle broke. I was alone on the way to Yoga Thailand which was a first (it also means I pay full fare). But I got here safe and sound.

I'm staying at Metta now and I have a lovely roomie - Keisha. She's a beautiful American woman who's been living Italy for the past 6 years.

This is Keisha...

 

Claudia is here too. So very happy to be with her again despite our lumbar challenges.

Claudia

We went to check out the wellness programs but decided to put off deciding until this first week. I want to do the far infrared sauna but I think 3 weeks in the steam room at no extra cost might be the more viable option. I'm scheduled for Reiki 3.

I was able to catch up on my sleep. Finally, I'm at the loft (another first) and the white noise from the A/C lulls me to sleep easily.

At a few minutes past 5pm, Paul walks in. I'm at awe each time. He welcomes everyone - all 19 of us which is good number. Not too big.

After that, Keisha and I (and Claudia, later on) had our steam room therapy. That really brings my back and pulled hamstring some great relief.

I slept well on the loft. :)