Beautiful practice with Clayton Horton at Pulse today.
I came in fifteen minutes late and straight from another 12 hours of work but came out of the workshop refreshed and rejuvenated. During Savasana, someone outside was playing Open Arms full blast. After trying to ignore it in the midst of deep breaths, Clayton says, I hope you like Journey...
We all had a good laugh.
Urdvha Danurasana was generous and heartfelt today. Open heart, straight arms. I suppose that makes the song apt. Not to be outdone by the lyrical 80s love song, Clayton ended with his familiar strumming of the timeless blessing, Lokaah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu...
As we all should be. Happy and Free.
And hoping you'll see what your love means to me...Open Arms...
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
That is full. This is full.
The moon is waning again.
For the beautiful full moon we just had and for all those I pray She protects,
Om Poornamadah Poornamidam Poornaat Poornamudachyate;
Poornasya Poornamaadaaya Poornameva Avashishtayate
Om Shaantih Shaantih Shaantih
"OM. THAT IS full; this is full. This fullness has been projected from that fullness. When this fullness merges in that fullness, all that remains is fullness.
OM peace peace peace."
~From the Ishavasya Upanishad. May these first two lines bring you peace.
For the beautiful full moon we just had and for all those I pray She protects,
Om Poornamadah Poornamidam Poornaat Poornamudachyate;
Poornasya Poornamaadaaya Poornameva Avashishtayate
Om Shaantih Shaantih Shaantih
"OM. THAT IS full; this is full. This fullness has been projected from that fullness. When this fullness merges in that fullness, all that remains is fullness.
OM peace peace peace."
~From the Ishavasya Upanishad. May these first two lines bring you peace.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Spontaneity
The fantastic thing about yoga is that the journey back to ourselves means we can go back to the best parts of who we are, the true parts - the best trails that somehow get hidden along the way. I am on my way back to spontaneity.
That's the part of me that overtook today's supposed logic and practicality. The one that allowed different kinds of mistakes to happen, and also discovered the best of various kinds of love. With spontaneity came so much joy and less time for weighing, analyzing, thinking...
I was free, free-wheeling, gutsy, crazy, almost irreverent. And most of all, I loved so much better than this.
But things need to change and I mean fundamentally. And so I may quit my 12-hour job or go on a whole year sabbatical. Or study without knowing how to fund it. I could do all these things. Or not. But I will be accepting of the twists and turns from moment to moment with a kind of happy gratitude to let everything happen.
Deep inside, I know the antidote to these days' exhaustion is the lack of spontaneity in my life. I need to reintegrate myself back into these days, no matter how unconventional or wrong this may seem. It's time.
Who's going with me?
That's the part of me that overtook today's supposed logic and practicality. The one that allowed different kinds of mistakes to happen, and also discovered the best of various kinds of love. With spontaneity came so much joy and less time for weighing, analyzing, thinking...
I was free, free-wheeling, gutsy, crazy, almost irreverent. And most of all, I loved so much better than this.
But things need to change and I mean fundamentally. And so I may quit my 12-hour job or go on a whole year sabbatical. Or study without knowing how to fund it. I could do all these things. Or not. But I will be accepting of the twists and turns from moment to moment with a kind of happy gratitude to let everything happen.
Deep inside, I know the antidote to these days' exhaustion is the lack of spontaneity in my life. I need to reintegrate myself back into these days, no matter how unconventional or wrong this may seem. It's time.
Who's going with me?
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
karma. jnana. bhakti.
As my moon days and cycle days are synchronized, I think about these things in the space of a gentler practice.
karma. action.
choose action over inaction
let go of the results. non-attachment to results. practice for the sake of practicing.
Do not claim credit, you are not the source of your actions or your life.
jnana. true self.
healing. connectedness. generosity. ecstasy. contentment.
look to yamas and niyamas.
bhakti. surrender to God.
Surrender. To. God.
Listen to Govinda Kai's podcast for more...
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/talks-on-yoga-by-govinda-kai/id329900167
karma. action.
choose action over inaction
let go of the results. non-attachment to results. practice for the sake of practicing.
Do not claim credit, you are not the source of your actions or your life.
jnana. true self.
healing. connectedness. generosity. ecstasy. contentment.
look to yamas and niyamas.
bhakti. surrender to God.
Surrender. To. God.
Listen to Govinda Kai's podcast for more...
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/talks-on-yoga-by-govinda-kai/id329900167
Thursday, May 13, 2010
"These Little Earthquakes"
I ended my practice at 11 pm (again) and I am now winding down. More and more, I find I need less hours of sleep but this all depends on the quality of my Savasana. The past few days, though, they have been so deep, as if something has altered them completely.
There are also so many simultaneous changes to my asanas...Utthita Hasta Padangustasana, Garbha Pindasana, Supta Pandagustasana... The simultaneous palpable shifts are a wonder to me. It is said somewhere that the essence of stars and ours are no different. The shifts in tectonic plates and these movements within must also be connected.
In the words of my childhood muse, I think to myself...Oh, these little earthquakes.
In the Strategy Session this morning, we were told to expect more. Sometimes, I still find it strange that my day job and my life job intersect in the most unexpected places.
Oh, and it is the end of mercury retrograde. Let's start something.
There are also so many simultaneous changes to my asanas...Utthita Hasta Padangustasana, Garbha Pindasana, Supta Pandagustasana... The simultaneous palpable shifts are a wonder to me. It is said somewhere that the essence of stars and ours are no different. The shifts in tectonic plates and these movements within must also be connected.
In the words of my childhood muse, I think to myself...Oh, these little earthquakes.
In the Strategy Session this morning, we were told to expect more. Sometimes, I still find it strange that my day job and my life job intersect in the most unexpected places.
Oh, and it is the end of mercury retrograde. Let's start something.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Best. Savasana. Ever.
I feel so completely restored. My Savasana was deep and beautiful, my entire body is still tingling with vibrance (especially my palms and soles). At the tail end, I had a kaleidescope of energies around me and I felt my hands held again.
I love being able to practice after (or before) a long day of work.
I love being able to practice after (or before) a long day of work.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Light, Darkness, Love
This was the space where words could never do justice. We all felt so much...but beneath that and beyond that, we felt love - the tough kind that allows thoughts of letting go and then, ultimately, the same one that wants to stay. When we are threatened with parting, this brings about the most human experiences and we allow them. We allow them because they are what they are. Because in the end, the outcome is not always driven by our will. There are so many deeper elements at work when we make the choices we say we make on our own.
So lightness and darkness. When we find deep connections, both are shared, and we stand in the soft edges where they meet.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Vulnerability
We talked of vulnerability. To me, it has to do with so much trust and inner strength. To be vulnerable means to allow yourself to be touched, at the risk of being hurt. To be open and giving, but to risk rejection. It means one is able to give freely and love freely without defenses, an exit clause, some form of emotional collateral or a contingency retaliation plan - No armors, walls, moats, guards and secret snipers. It means you can allow yourself to be truly and deeply connected because there is no fear of losing.
It means there's no possession to protect. Because really, what is it of this world can we truly own?
It also requires the capacity to believe in inner strength, beyond how the world defines it.
Vulnerability has no concept of self-preservation. And when we are not too pre-occupied preserving our small selves, we can experience the gift of living with passion, honesty, an abundance of love.
It allows us to live with so much trust that we will remain whole and shining brightly no matter what happens. How hard is that in this skim-the-surface world with soul takers who eat hearts of those foolish enough to leave them on their sleeves...
But I like to keep my heart on my sleeve. Most of the time.
I did say, I like vulnerability. Because it allows us to be closer to the truth that we have nothing to lose. There is nothing of material importance that can be held on to - not wealth nor pride nor face. All these fleeting fancies and poker faces.
I like that you see my love for you in this patchwork of a body borrowed in this lifetime. The light and love that shine from the cracks of my broken pieces allow you to recognize the love and light that radiate from yours. Then we can remind each other of what is truly good and beautiful.
***
Nothing like dropping back in Urdvha Danurasana to remind me of vulnerability. Open up, all ye chakras...
I love how the spaces are created for these days.
It means there's no possession to protect. Because really, what is it of this world can we truly own?
It also requires the capacity to believe in inner strength, beyond how the world defines it.
Vulnerability has no concept of self-preservation. And when we are not too pre-occupied preserving our small selves, we can experience the gift of living with passion, honesty, an abundance of love.
It allows us to live with so much trust that we will remain whole and shining brightly no matter what happens. How hard is that in this skim-the-surface world with soul takers who eat hearts of those foolish enough to leave them on their sleeves...
But I like to keep my heart on my sleeve. Most of the time.
I did say, I like vulnerability. Because it allows us to be closer to the truth that we have nothing to lose. There is nothing of material importance that can be held on to - not wealth nor pride nor face. All these fleeting fancies and poker faces.
I like that you see my love for you in this patchwork of a body borrowed in this lifetime. The light and love that shine from the cracks of my broken pieces allow you to recognize the love and light that radiate from yours. Then we can remind each other of what is truly good and beautiful.
***
Nothing like dropping back in Urdvha Danurasana to remind me of vulnerability. Open up, all ye chakras...
I love how the spaces are created for these days.
Monday, May 3, 2010
I am conversing with a Podcast.
This is strange. A podcast done about a year ago is speaking to me and I'm feeling as if I am in an actual conversation.
Lecture on Love and Yoga Part I
Lecture on Love and Yoga Part 2
And speaking of Love and Yoga. I love this chant...
Om Namah Shivaya Gurave: I offer myself to Lord Shiva,the Auspiscious One, who is the true teacher Within and Without.
Saccidananda Murtaye: Who Assumes the forms of Reality, Consciousness and Bliss.
Nishprapanchaya Shantaya: Who is never absent and is full of peace.
Niralambaya Tejase: Independent existence, the vital essence of illumination.
---
chant meaning from the wikipedia
Lecture on Love and Yoga Part I
Lecture on Love and Yoga Part 2
And speaking of Love and Yoga. I love this chant...
Om Namah Shivaya Gurave: I offer myself to Lord Shiva,the Auspiscious One, who is the true teacher Within and Without.
Saccidananda Murtaye: Who Assumes the forms of Reality, Consciousness and Bliss.
Nishprapanchaya Shantaya: Who is never absent and is full of peace.
Niralambaya Tejase: Independent existence, the vital essence of illumination.
---
chant meaning from the wikipedia
Sunday, May 2, 2010
On Purpose
I am loving everyday of my asana practice, loving the lessons and loving the experience.
Today was about purpose. But I left my pen and notebook and so Govinda's words are floating in my head and are now colored by my own remembrance.
When we talk of clarity of purpose, we must distinguish between what we see as our purpose in the material world and the spiritual world.
The material world is about improvement. We want to improve ourselves, to keep getting better.
Any kind of improvement belongs to the material realm. The spiritual world needs no improvement - it is perfect.
The lesson is in the awareness of both worlds. Although they seem to be conflicting, they are actually complementary.
The mind, thoughts, emotions, the ego belong to the material world. The material world is useful, the mind provides context and reference, they have their place and purpose. They are our tools but they are not us. We are not our thoughts, nor are we our opinions. They are only one side of us.
In the material world, nothing is ever satisfied, nothing is ever enough. When we identify only with the material world, this causes more unhappiness.
There is nothing wrong with improving but know that there is something deeper, beyond the senses, unchanging, in no need of improvement. In the spiritual realm, we are perfect.
Spirituality requires nothing but experience, without labels or critical thought.
Often, the problem lies in solving spiritual problems with materiality. Those who have not cultivated awareness will be uncomfortable in pain.
Sometimes, when we have identified too much with the material world, we become averse to any kind of discomfort or pain and will turn to vices, distractions, anything to not experience discomfort.
We remove experience, and therefore stunt the growth of our own spirituality.
We must practice the distinction between the two worlds and to create more space for experience. This sometimes means removing limitations created by our own judgments and critical thoughts.
In asana practice, sometimes we become collectors...of asanas, of teachers. The mind says more is better.
We should instead ask ourselves, what is the quality of our breath? the quality of our practice?
As we practice, we will develop a more instinctual and intuitive sense, a mastery that can be applicable in other aspects of our life.
My thoughts sort of stop here. It's a wonder how these days in my journey have been unraveling. I am thinking of this morning's session and the opportune moments to speak your truth. It is liberating to do so even if the mind always makes one feel as if it is so very difficult. When words are spoken, and because they are true, they ease into reality without the least bit of drama. We just speak our truth.
I am still fascinated at how the Universe has conjured Govinda Kai in Manila in the heat of the summer season and right into wherever we are in this journey. This is how I think about purpose and the magical quality of its clarity for each being, its impeccable timing and its vast mystery. He may not have known his purpose in our lives a few months back, nor did we. I only had an old photograph back then.
The lesson for the teacher may be different for the students though they are in the same physical place and time. We do not question these things but revel in the purity of experience, deep and beyond sensory understanding. I think this is how I have integrated the lesson on Purpose today. On the material side, we have all manifested in each other's lives. Spiritually, we have all always been connected, the quality of which can only be determined by our own vibrant awareness of each other.
* * *
Post script: During practice, my toenail scraped my wrist in one of the jump throughs. I did Reiki on it and the skin has closed completely. Somewhere, somehow, my secret wishful purpose is to be able to heal. My not so secret wishful purpose is to teach. Between them, there must be a rather fine line.
Today was about purpose. But I left my pen and notebook and so Govinda's words are floating in my head and are now colored by my own remembrance.
When we talk of clarity of purpose, we must distinguish between what we see as our purpose in the material world and the spiritual world.
The material world is about improvement. We want to improve ourselves, to keep getting better.
Any kind of improvement belongs to the material realm. The spiritual world needs no improvement - it is perfect.
The lesson is in the awareness of both worlds. Although they seem to be conflicting, they are actually complementary.
The mind, thoughts, emotions, the ego belong to the material world. The material world is useful, the mind provides context and reference, they have their place and purpose. They are our tools but they are not us. We are not our thoughts, nor are we our opinions. They are only one side of us.
In the material world, nothing is ever satisfied, nothing is ever enough. When we identify only with the material world, this causes more unhappiness.
There is nothing wrong with improving but know that there is something deeper, beyond the senses, unchanging, in no need of improvement. In the spiritual realm, we are perfect.
Spirituality requires nothing but experience, without labels or critical thought.
Often, the problem lies in solving spiritual problems with materiality. Those who have not cultivated awareness will be uncomfortable in pain.
Sometimes, when we have identified too much with the material world, we become averse to any kind of discomfort or pain and will turn to vices, distractions, anything to not experience discomfort.
We remove experience, and therefore stunt the growth of our own spirituality.
We must practice the distinction between the two worlds and to create more space for experience. This sometimes means removing limitations created by our own judgments and critical thoughts.
In asana practice, sometimes we become collectors...of asanas, of teachers. The mind says more is better.
We should instead ask ourselves, what is the quality of our breath? the quality of our practice?
As we practice, we will develop a more instinctual and intuitive sense, a mastery that can be applicable in other aspects of our life.
My thoughts sort of stop here. It's a wonder how these days in my journey have been unraveling. I am thinking of this morning's session and the opportune moments to speak your truth. It is liberating to do so even if the mind always makes one feel as if it is so very difficult. When words are spoken, and because they are true, they ease into reality without the least bit of drama. We just speak our truth.
I am still fascinated at how the Universe has conjured Govinda Kai in Manila in the heat of the summer season and right into wherever we are in this journey. This is how I think about purpose and the magical quality of its clarity for each being, its impeccable timing and its vast mystery. He may not have known his purpose in our lives a few months back, nor did we. I only had an old photograph back then.
The lesson for the teacher may be different for the students though they are in the same physical place and time. We do not question these things but revel in the purity of experience, deep and beyond sensory understanding. I think this is how I have integrated the lesson on Purpose today. On the material side, we have all manifested in each other's lives. Spiritually, we have all always been connected, the quality of which can only be determined by our own vibrant awareness of each other.
* * *
Post script: During practice, my toenail scraped my wrist in one of the jump throughs. I did Reiki on it and the skin has closed completely. Somewhere, somehow, my secret wishful purpose is to be able to heal. My not so secret wishful purpose is to teach. Between them, there must be a rather fine line.
