Om Namah Shivaya
Shambo Shankara Namah Shivaya Girija Shankara Nama Shivaya...
Om Namah Shivaya
Radhe Radhe Radhe Shyam
Govinda Radhe Jai Sri Radhe
Govinda Radhe Radhe Shyam
Gopala Radhe Radhe
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Breathe Completely
One of the most wonderful gifts to receive in this life is to find beautiful souls to call teachers. In this age, we are fortunate not to have to stay for a decade beside rivers or in caves but to spend hours in the midst of our days to learn and to receive light.
I am fortunate to have met that fascinating teacher that is Govinda Kai, from the deep bellowing chants to his guiding hands to that energy. The connection is tangible, closer. The energy he radiates is within reach. And in the transcendent hours spent I feel at awe with the people he has brought together, finally, that even the space we occupied has become transcendent.
I am grateful for the premonitions, the predetermined path that led me to these days.
Today, in asana practice, I dropped back into Urdvha Danurasana and stood from it for the first time in my life. Two sets of three. And in between, hands crossed and halfway then back up. The first time it happened and I went back to standing, I was overwhelmed with Joyfulness. I hugged Govinda. (When he approached me and told me to put my hands on the ground, I looked absolutely puzzled and said - you mean my toes? He said - no, behind...)
Always Urdvha Danurasana. That asana is trying to teach me something deeper. We've gone past the first phase with Paul coming up to me more than three months ago, seeing I was ready to be pushed against the wall. And now, with another "Paul", we are deepening. I had so much trust as I exhaled and waited to see the floor and touched my hands on the ground. So much trust as I inhaled myself up back. Trust over and over with heart open. It's the way I should be. Trusting with an open heart. I can do it, gently held. I will do it again, still held and then someday by myself. My Urdvha Danurasana, I must be one of your favorite students.
Yesterday, I posted Govinda's photo on Giving Light. Today, he literally spoke about giving light. How we are here to find the light within us and then in others. The uncanny premonitions and synchronicity again at work. I know I will see him again. I am at awe and ever so grateful.
Breathe completely. Live Completely -- ready to die when you exhale; taking everything completely before you and into yourself, while you inhale. Let the breath be the bridge to the deeper parts of your heart.
Jai Jai Ma...Jai Jai Ma...Jai Jai Ma...Jai Jai Ma...Jai Jai Ma...Jai Jai Ma... Bolo Jaya Jagadambe
JAI JAI MA!
I am fortunate to have met that fascinating teacher that is Govinda Kai, from the deep bellowing chants to his guiding hands to that energy. The connection is tangible, closer. The energy he radiates is within reach. And in the transcendent hours spent I feel at awe with the people he has brought together, finally, that even the space we occupied has become transcendent.
I am grateful for the premonitions, the predetermined path that led me to these days.
Today, in asana practice, I dropped back into Urdvha Danurasana and stood from it for the first time in my life. Two sets of three. And in between, hands crossed and halfway then back up. The first time it happened and I went back to standing, I was overwhelmed with Joyfulness. I hugged Govinda. (When he approached me and told me to put my hands on the ground, I looked absolutely puzzled and said - you mean my toes? He said - no, behind...)
Always Urdvha Danurasana. That asana is trying to teach me something deeper. We've gone past the first phase with Paul coming up to me more than three months ago, seeing I was ready to be pushed against the wall. And now, with another "Paul", we are deepening. I had so much trust as I exhaled and waited to see the floor and touched my hands on the ground. So much trust as I inhaled myself up back. Trust over and over with heart open. It's the way I should be. Trusting with an open heart. I can do it, gently held. I will do it again, still held and then someday by myself. My Urdvha Danurasana, I must be one of your favorite students.
Yesterday, I posted Govinda's photo on Giving Light. Today, he literally spoke about giving light. How we are here to find the light within us and then in others. The uncanny premonitions and synchronicity again at work. I know I will see him again. I am at awe and ever so grateful.
Breathe completely. Live Completely -- ready to die when you exhale; taking everything completely before you and into yourself, while you inhale. Let the breath be the bridge to the deeper parts of your heart.
Jai Jai Ma...Jai Jai Ma...Jai Jai Ma...Jai Jai Ma...Jai Jai Ma...Jai Jai Ma... Bolo Jaya Jagadambe
JAI JAI MA!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Synchronicity and Premonitions
About a month ago, I found a pre-owned coffee table book by Christy Turlington, Living Yoga (I wrote about my recent finds in another post...). One of the photos that struck me was part of the collage on the inner covers. I stared at it for a rather long while and the image imprinted itself quite clearly in my head.
This is the image. And he materialized. Wow.
This is the image. And he materialized. Wow.
The photo is from govinda kai's photostream http://www.flickr.com/photos/govindakai/
Here's the direct link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/95559679@N00/303926931
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Intimacy
Yoga is about intimacy. Intimacy with who we are, how we are, intimacy in all our relationships. We must increase our intimacy.
More and more, I find I had the "correct" thoughts when I was younger, when the bitterness had not overwhelmed me, when I was much simpler, kinder, funnier. Ah, so I aged. I should accept that so I can start the process of unburdening.
I took down notes again because the message of yoga through Govinda is powerful. We must remind ourselves of things we claim to already know.
Presence is transcendent - not dependent on time and space. As a yogi, we must cultivate this presence. When we criticize others, the presence is significantly diminished.
The yoga teacher's primary job description is to BRING PRESENCE.
When we cultivate presence, we dissolve anxiety and fear. We nourish and manifest COURAGE.
We also allow miracles to happen, synchronicity.
To cultivate presence, stay connected to your breathing - watch the quality of your breath.
Note to self for when I begin teaching: Be free.
Perform action with presence.
Let life. Trust. Get out of your own way.
You are exactly where you need to be.
***
Asana practice was so very beautiful. I was in each moment and breath. I practiced beside Hoze and I think he lent me his energy for Ubhaya Padangustasana (still watching my momentum on the inhale...).
When the mind is quiet, then the asana is correct (Guruji).
***
More info on Govinda Kai on http://www.lunaticmonk.com/
More and more, I find I had the "correct" thoughts when I was younger, when the bitterness had not overwhelmed me, when I was much simpler, kinder, funnier. Ah, so I aged. I should accept that so I can start the process of unburdening.
I took down notes again because the message of yoga through Govinda is powerful. We must remind ourselves of things we claim to already know.
Presence is transcendent - not dependent on time and space. As a yogi, we must cultivate this presence. When we criticize others, the presence is significantly diminished.
The yoga teacher's primary job description is to BRING PRESENCE.
When we cultivate presence, we dissolve anxiety and fear. We nourish and manifest COURAGE.
We also allow miracles to happen, synchronicity.
To cultivate presence, stay connected to your breathing - watch the quality of your breath.
Note to self for when I begin teaching: Be free.
Perform action with presence.
Let life. Trust. Get out of your own way.
You are exactly where you need to be.
***
Asana practice was so very beautiful. I was in each moment and breath. I practiced beside Hoze and I think he lent me his energy for Ubhaya Padangustasana (still watching my momentum on the inhale...).
When the mind is quiet, then the asana is correct (Guruji).
***
More info on Govinda Kai on http://www.lunaticmonk.com/
Be All of Yourself
We began with Chanting. Govinda Kai opened with chanting as a spiritual technology.
"The Sanskrit words that we sing in these Kirtans are mantras, or divine names. A mantra can be thought of as a sonic embodiment of the supreme being who, through grace, takes infinite recognizable forms. When touched by the blessings of and enlightened master or the longing of a pure heart, these mantras become fully alive and have the power to carry us back to the One, the universal heart. These ancient words hold within them the very presence of the deity; they are prayers, they are vessels for our prayers, and they are that One to whom we are praying.
The chants don’t tell stories and aren’t actual sentences. Rather, they are like simple roadmaps to help the mind leap from mental remembrance into the deepest heart essence, where we actually meet and commune with that being who is the source of all. And, really, it’s okay if we don’t fully understand the translations or pronunciations. Through these simple Kirtans, we can communicate with our hearts, with our souls; we can cry, we can laugh, we can dance." - Jai Uttal
So we began with Chanting.
Sri Krishna Govinda Hare Murare
Hey Natha Narayana Vasudeva
Oh Beloved Krishna, Oh Govinda, Oh Hari, Hey
Murari, Oh Lord Narayana, Ho Vasudeva [all names of Krishna].
I worship you with my heart and soul.
And this flows toward a discussion on knowing oneself intimately. That we should know ourselves even superficially at first so we know when we are becoming superficial. We need to understand the nature of ourselves, beyond mechanistic feelings that are not unique to us (we have families, culures, patterns...)
We must learn to be "un-stuck" from these and learn the characteristics of the deeper self.
They are embodied in Yamas and Niyamas. Ahimsa as healing, Satya as saying how we feel without modification or censorship.
I really need to fire my mental editor. I must express myself freely (beyond my blogs). I need to regain my spontaneity (when did I start strangling it?)
Modifying how we feel through our words perpetuates the illusion of being separate.
Do not create divisions. Be all of yourself. Celebrate everything.
More info on Govinda Kai on http://www.lunaticmonk.com/
"The Sanskrit words that we sing in these Kirtans are mantras, or divine names. A mantra can be thought of as a sonic embodiment of the supreme being who, through grace, takes infinite recognizable forms. When touched by the blessings of and enlightened master or the longing of a pure heart, these mantras become fully alive and have the power to carry us back to the One, the universal heart. These ancient words hold within them the very presence of the deity; they are prayers, they are vessels for our prayers, and they are that One to whom we are praying.
The chants don’t tell stories and aren’t actual sentences. Rather, they are like simple roadmaps to help the mind leap from mental remembrance into the deepest heart essence, where we actually meet and commune with that being who is the source of all. And, really, it’s okay if we don’t fully understand the translations or pronunciations. Through these simple Kirtans, we can communicate with our hearts, with our souls; we can cry, we can laugh, we can dance." - Jai Uttal
So we began with Chanting.
Sri Krishna Govinda Hare Murare
Hey Natha Narayana Vasudeva
Oh Beloved Krishna, Oh Govinda, Oh Hari, Hey
Murari, Oh Lord Narayana, Ho Vasudeva [all names of Krishna].
I worship you with my heart and soul.
And this flows toward a discussion on knowing oneself intimately. That we should know ourselves even superficially at first so we know when we are becoming superficial. We need to understand the nature of ourselves, beyond mechanistic feelings that are not unique to us (we have families, culures, patterns...)
We must learn to be "un-stuck" from these and learn the characteristics of the deeper self.
They are embodied in Yamas and Niyamas. Ahimsa as healing, Satya as saying how we feel without modification or censorship.
I really need to fire my mental editor. I must express myself freely (beyond my blogs). I need to regain my spontaneity (when did I start strangling it?)
Modifying how we feel through our words perpetuates the illusion of being separate.
Do not create divisions. Be all of yourself. Celebrate everything.
More info on Govinda Kai on http://www.lunaticmonk.com/
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Learning Yoga from the Son of the Aikido Sensei
The other day, I bumped into Cherry. She found out I went for my Teacher Training which was why I was not in some of the meetings. I, on the other hand, found out (just then) that aside from being our SAP partner, she also teaches at Yoga Manila. And she studied in YT. We exchanged numbers (again). Personal lines this time. I was so happy to see a kindred along the hallways of the office, and even happier with the pleasant surprise which I take as a sign to mean good things are on their way.
Yesterday, Tobey, my teacher in Pulse, called. She was worried I had not been attending her sessions. I've been a home practitioner for over two months now. Work sched. She called because the Lunatic Monk was in town. I should go. Another pleasant surprise to have my teacher call me.
I am being called. Maybe to finally close in on my dream, but for now, I take it to mean I should see the Son of the Aikido Sensei. I missed him for the two sessions I could have gone. This time I must go. So I did.
* * *
No longer long-haired, I thought for a split second, when I opened my eyes to his Om midway through my pranayama, just before I brought myself to the then and there...
There is a certain way about those who continue to be transformed by yoga. That certain demeanor. that understanding. So even as he shouted Chatvari! Chatvari! to get the attention of those already in Panca, there was that tinge of humor in his eyes. He had that glint as we lost our pitch in the opening chants, once too many.
I sensed him moving around. I was trying not to be starstruck as I easily am at awe with people AND I was practicing with my teachers. I was so very happy to have his guidance in Urdvha Paschimottanasana and Sirsasana. Never mind if I fogot we were doing Marichyasana D and not B on the left side. I caught myself (and so did he) right before the non-twist.
And his talk. He talked about the Gita, his preference over the Yoga Sutras. It's liberating to sometimes hear that we generally do not have a choice or that we only have a choice 5% of the time. I would have struggled to believe this a decade ago. No more. If we stopped struggling, if we stopped thinking we can control how things happen, we would make our lives so much easier. We have no real control.
I liked his discussion on absolute and relative importance, the talk on choosing action ("a good rule of thumb is choosing the more difficult thing to do"), the talk of highest good...
Still...
Learning Yoga is so experiential. It is hard to just lecture (or truly listen), especially when the mind wants to control the subtleties with its own limited understanding. Best to drink in the words and let them nourish what they will. When we are receptive, these interactions with teachers become the beautiful moments they are meant to be.
I personally love studying Yoga because I recognize the meaning. I do not know everything but there is that recognition. I could not be happier to begin this way.
Someday, I hope this girl named Prakriti will be merged with Purusha.
More info on Govinda Kai on http://www.lunaticmonk.com/
Yesterday, Tobey, my teacher in Pulse, called. She was worried I had not been attending her sessions. I've been a home practitioner for over two months now. Work sched. She called because the Lunatic Monk was in town. I should go. Another pleasant surprise to have my teacher call me.
I am being called. Maybe to finally close in on my dream, but for now, I take it to mean I should see the Son of the Aikido Sensei. I missed him for the two sessions I could have gone. This time I must go. So I did.
* * *
No longer long-haired, I thought for a split second, when I opened my eyes to his Om midway through my pranayama, just before I brought myself to the then and there...
There is a certain way about those who continue to be transformed by yoga. That certain demeanor. that understanding. So even as he shouted Chatvari! Chatvari! to get the attention of those already in Panca, there was that tinge of humor in his eyes. He had that glint as we lost our pitch in the opening chants, once too many.
I sensed him moving around. I was trying not to be starstruck as I easily am at awe with people AND I was practicing with my teachers. I was so very happy to have his guidance in Urdvha Paschimottanasana and Sirsasana. Never mind if I fogot we were doing Marichyasana D and not B on the left side. I caught myself (and so did he) right before the non-twist.
And his talk. He talked about the Gita, his preference over the Yoga Sutras. It's liberating to sometimes hear that we generally do not have a choice or that we only have a choice 5% of the time. I would have struggled to believe this a decade ago. No more. If we stopped struggling, if we stopped thinking we can control how things happen, we would make our lives so much easier. We have no real control.
I liked his discussion on absolute and relative importance, the talk on choosing action ("a good rule of thumb is choosing the more difficult thing to do"), the talk of highest good...
Still...
Learning Yoga is so experiential. It is hard to just lecture (or truly listen), especially when the mind wants to control the subtleties with its own limited understanding. Best to drink in the words and let them nourish what they will. When we are receptive, these interactions with teachers become the beautiful moments they are meant to be.
I personally love studying Yoga because I recognize the meaning. I do not know everything but there is that recognition. I could not be happier to begin this way.
Someday, I hope this girl named Prakriti will be merged with Purusha.
More info on Govinda Kai on http://www.lunaticmonk.com/
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Sunday Afternoon Sutras
I was reading through the Yoga Sutras this afternoon, comparing two translations while listening to Jayashree chant.
With me, too, is a copy of Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. He makes no reference to yoga and yet his words ring familiar, a good complement to yogic studies.
We are gifted, if we have faith, with prayers, words, salutations and teachings. The Truth within Scriptures, or as revealed by those ahead in this path, is universal, encompassing the structures we've created to unite (and divide) us. Let nothing divide us anymore.
This one is for Patanjali and the beautiful Yoga Sutras.
Yogena cittasya padena vacam
malam sarirasya ca vaidyakena
yo' pakarottam pravaram muninam
patanjalim Pranjaliranato'smi
It's only been a little over two months since the teacher training at Yoga Thailand. I carry with me the practices in the shala into my home.
I first went to Thailand in the year 2001 and bought two pewter images of Ganesha and Buddha. Little did I know that they carried the premonition of the gift I got in November, eight years later.
I practice before them as I did in the shala.
And of course, there is Shiva. My dancing Nataraja.
I first went to Thailand in the year 2001 and bought two pewter images of Ganesha and Buddha. Little did I know that they carried the premonition of the gift I got in November, eight years later.
I practice before them as I did in the shala.
And of course, there is Shiva. My dancing Nataraja.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Vegetarian Planet
Since I will not be buying books for the next 37 days, I'm going to browse my library and rediscover my yogic treasure trove.
Ynigo likes to help me choose books in my favorite bookshops. This one was a winner. The recipes are fantastic and flavorful -- and best of all, most ingredients are available in Pioneer Center and SM Hypermart (or wherever you go for grocery!) From splendid breads to small bites to soups and salads and sides; savory dishes and sweets, the recipes showcase flavors for the foodies of the planet. Alkalinity intact and no animals harmed!
There are also menus "for occasions big and small", making it easy to put together four-course meals, complete with wine recommendations.
My other favorites:
Simply Vegetarian! by Nancy Mlair
Rose Elliot's Vegetarian Cookery
Yoga Thailand's Healthy Lifestyle Cookbook
Except for the Healthy Lifestyle Cookbook, Ynigo chose all my favorite vegetarian cook books for me. :-)
It's time to truly go green.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Sacred Paths by Georg Feuerstein
My favorite find (for P75) so far, amidst the beautiful coffee table books, is Georg Feuerstein's Sacred Paths: Essays on Wisdom, Love and Mystical Realization.
It's a rare gem and I have not seen it in the big bookstores nor the small second hand shops that I hound. I love the brilliantly written essays. They speak to me like a teacher. I could keep re-reading this book.
When I teach, this book will be a reference.
It's a rare gem and I have not seen it in the big bookstores nor the small second hand shops that I hound. I love the brilliantly written essays. They speak to me like a teacher. I could keep re-reading this book.
When I teach, this book will be a reference.
Books, books, books
Last Friday, I got the last copy of Dharma Mittra's 608 Yoga Poses from Fully Booked. The copy is rather old and bunches of pages need to be glued to the spine but it's not beyond repair. They gave it for half its original price. It's a great addition to my collection and a small, inspiring gem.
"The Yoga Poses are just a preparation for the practice of meditation, and better than meditation is to renounce the fruits of your actions. Now learn to serve others first, and show love to all beings and living creatures." ~Dharma Mittra~
* * *
Another book I found in Booksale was Christy Turlington's Living Yoga. The beautiful hardbound book cost me a little over USD4.00. It's in great condition. Just has a birthday greeting on the cover.
It would be beautiful to write a book on one's journey. To publish it and let it stumble upon someone's path. To make a difference without seeking that ambition.
* * *
From Books for Less, I found a mint copy of Kathleen Cox's The Power of Vastu Living.
It's a wonderful comprehensive book on Vastu and opens with an excerpt from Ralph Waldo Emerson's "IV Spiritual Laws".
vastu: 1. the ancient Indian system of design and decor.
2. the precursor to feng shui.
3. the sister science of yoga and ayurveda
* * *
Another one, mint condition... a young, ultra modern, book -- Happy Yoga by Steve Ross.
In it:
Ancient yoga philosophy in a modern, humorous context. Includes yoga postures, diet advice, music playlists and an abundance of specific tools and tips for experiencing the ultimate yoga.
You can't get happy, you can only be happy.
You can have true love.
You're not fat.
You are not your daily grind.
You can change your world.
You will never die.
You can be yogic, and to the yogi, everything is bliss.
* * *
My yoga library is growing. One day, they will adorn the bookshelves of my studio.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
On this Day of Love (Feb 14, 2010)
Happy Hearts Day (and Kung Hei Fat Choy!)
I have exchanged beautiful gifts and good wine and sweet conversation and happy love with the loves of my life - my husband and my children. Now, I want to return the love and blessings of this day to that One Great Love who continues to fill my life with goodness.
From Paramahansa Yogananda's Whispers of Eternity (http://www.ananda.org/inspiration/books/whispers/)
137. Intoxicate Me with the Wine of Thy Love
Intoxicate me with devotion’s wine: I will drink of Thee until death. My earthly desires shall die, and I will live in Thee for ever. A thrilling fountain-spray runs throughout each cell of my body and through each opening of my love for Thee. Saturated with devotion, I will enter the heaven of Thy presence. Blindly groping, the urge of my devotion suddenly flings open the soul’s secret door, and O, what bliss I feel at the sight of Thy light!
140. Nothing Can Steal My Love for Thee
No loud or whispered words of prayer shall steal my love for Thee. With the soul’s unspoken language I will express my urge for Thee. Thy voice is silence, and through my silence, Thou must speak to me and tell me Thou didst love me always, but that I knew it not.
195. I Will Be Thine Always
I may go far, farther than the farthest star, but I will be Thine always! Devotees may come, devotees may go, but I will be Thine always.
I may bound over the billows of many lives, forlorn beneath the skies of loneliness, but I will be Thine always.
The world may leave Thee, while engrossed with Thy playthings, but I will be Thine always. Thou mayest take everything away that Thou gavest me, but I will be Thine always.
Death, disease, and trials may riddle and rend me, and yet, while the embers of memory shall flicker, look into my dying eyes and they will mutely say, “I will be Thine always.”
My voice may become feeble, fail and forsake me, and yet, with the silent, bursting voice of my soul, I will whisper to Thee, “I am Thine always!”
I have exchanged beautiful gifts and good wine and sweet conversation and happy love with the loves of my life - my husband and my children. Now, I want to return the love and blessings of this day to that One Great Love who continues to fill my life with goodness.
From Paramahansa Yogananda's Whispers of Eternity (http://www.ananda.org/inspiration/books/whispers/)
137. Intoxicate Me with the Wine of Thy Love
Intoxicate me with devotion’s wine: I will drink of Thee until death. My earthly desires shall die, and I will live in Thee for ever. A thrilling fountain-spray runs throughout each cell of my body and through each opening of my love for Thee. Saturated with devotion, I will enter the heaven of Thy presence. Blindly groping, the urge of my devotion suddenly flings open the soul’s secret door, and O, what bliss I feel at the sight of Thy light!
140. Nothing Can Steal My Love for Thee
No loud or whispered words of prayer shall steal my love for Thee. With the soul’s unspoken language I will express my urge for Thee. Thy voice is silence, and through my silence, Thou must speak to me and tell me Thou didst love me always, but that I knew it not.
195. I Will Be Thine Always
I may go far, farther than the farthest star, but I will be Thine always! Devotees may come, devotees may go, but I will be Thine always.
I may bound over the billows of many lives, forlorn beneath the skies of loneliness, but I will be Thine always.
The world may leave Thee, while engrossed with Thy playthings, but I will be Thine always. Thou mayest take everything away that Thou gavest me, but I will be Thine always.
Death, disease, and trials may riddle and rend me, and yet, while the embers of memory shall flicker, look into my dying eyes and they will mutely say, “I will be Thine always.”
My voice may become feeble, fail and forsake me, and yet, with the silent, bursting voice of my soul, I will whisper to Thee, “I am Thine always!”
Sunday, February 7, 2010
What is Dharana?
It is not always easy to keep up with a practice in the shala. Not when you are a working mother to two lovely, exuberant children and a happily married woman to a beautiful, kind-hearted husband. The 12-hour work days are consuming and weekends mean the children want their mom to be where they can see her. So in the midst of the weekend mayhem, I rolled out my mat in my empty space (and i mean a few pairs of 10 inch tiles) between the living room and the dining area/kitchen.
I practiced. I practiced while Smash Bro Brothers was on (it later shifted to Spider Man, apparently) and Ynigo was happy to have his mom contorted but present. Yzzy was careful not to step into the space (or be stepped on, intelligent girl that she is), babbling in what I feel might be mixtures of English, Ilocano and possibly, Sanskrit words (what with the chanting and counting and all).
I had a beautiful practice. I don't know how it is done, in hindsight, but I did. The mindfulness and concentration cannot be underestimated. Somehow, we have that capacity. The grocery and bills and tv and the neighbors were there so unobstrusive like...pipe-in music? or maybe the sound of the sea? There was no effort to ignore. There was just that focus.
The kids went to their rooms at some point only for Ynigo to come back later, in the middle of my headstand. He went near enough, I think, and as I straightened my legs, my inner smile broke because I heard clapping.
It was not a "perfect" headstand but to my son, I was. I am. The inverted mother he loves, without question, with just that certain knowing.
He left after clapping and I moved on, breath by breath and pose by pose.
At the end, I was in perfect peace. Contented in the practice of the asanas that I continue to build, following my breath, knowing my place. And my place for this particular practice, today, was at home.
I practiced. I practiced while Smash Bro Brothers was on (it later shifted to Spider Man, apparently) and Ynigo was happy to have his mom contorted but present. Yzzy was careful not to step into the space (or be stepped on, intelligent girl that she is), babbling in what I feel might be mixtures of English, Ilocano and possibly, Sanskrit words (what with the chanting and counting and all).
I had a beautiful practice. I don't know how it is done, in hindsight, but I did. The mindfulness and concentration cannot be underestimated. Somehow, we have that capacity. The grocery and bills and tv and the neighbors were there so unobstrusive like...pipe-in music? or maybe the sound of the sea? There was no effort to ignore. There was just that focus.
The kids went to their rooms at some point only for Ynigo to come back later, in the middle of my headstand. He went near enough, I think, and as I straightened my legs, my inner smile broke because I heard clapping.
It was not a "perfect" headstand but to my son, I was. I am. The inverted mother he loves, without question, with just that certain knowing.
He left after clapping and I moved on, breath by breath and pose by pose.
At the end, I was in perfect peace. Contented in the practice of the asanas that I continue to build, following my breath, knowing my place. And my place for this particular practice, today, was at home.