Day 26 (Dec 1)

It's the first of December, one day before a full moon.

I woke up at 4 am and I am at the open air dining hall listening to the great surround sound of waves and crickets and lizards. They bring me back to my breath because my mind is thinking of the electric bill that needs to be paid and the work mail that I have not opened in over a week. The sounds reassuringly take me back here because this is where I belong right now.

The sky is changing and so am I.

I feel the spaces of my body emptying and opening. The buzzing in my hands and feet have been more intense. I am writing again. I am in a state of love and thankfulness again.

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered is playing in my head but I'm not any of those things. Not anymore. I am just...grateful. Sthira Sukham.

***

I had my teaching assessment today and I got good remarks. All Successful! I think I started on the right foot with the chanting (Why chant? To offer thanks, to open the heart, to focus the mind...for this though, I stick to this reason - To help us realize it is not "me" who does). It's not. It was never.

Steve, my assessor, liked my chanting and the pace. I also was able to move around a lot, adjusting as much as I can, going through the asanas step by step. The hours I locked myself in the bathroom paid off. Still, I almost lost it before Janu A and Shalabasana. Thank goodness for vinyasas. (Why Vinyasa? To clean the slate, improve circulation, create heat...and buy time for nervous teacher trainees to think about the next pose). Asanas complete!

Despite the many butterflies in my stomach, I apparently still had a calm demeanor (maya?) and would like to thank dear Ganesh for allowing correct breaths.

My "students" were also sending such great vibes (Sharon and Robert, wonder couple, were just amazing!)Vince sneezed while we were doing the yoga mudra after I mentioned that we were sealing the energy and so I managed to make a quip about it. We had a bit of laughter yoga there.

I did what I could although I need to do something about these frayed nerves. I ran through the sequence over and over this morning after doing my Mysore assist. Almost dancing it to the music Paul put on. I must remember to ask him about it tomorrow.

After dinner, I studied with Becky and got through half of the manual. I will sleep with Paul's practice card and not with John's edited book tonight. Oral and written exams tomorrow.

It's 11 p.m. here. Time to rest...