Open Arms

Beautiful practice with Clayton Horton at Pulse today.

I came in fifteen minutes late and straight from another 12 hours of work but came out of the workshop refreshed and rejuvenated. During Savasana, someone outside was playing Open Arms full blast. After trying to ignore it in the midst of deep breaths, Clayton says, I hope you like Journey...

We all had a good laugh.

Urdvha Danurasana was generous and heartfelt today. Open heart, straight arms. I suppose that makes the song apt. Not to be outdone by the lyrical 80s love song, Clayton ended with his familiar strumming of the timeless blessing, Lokaah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu...

As we all should be. Happy and Free.
And hoping you'll see what your love means to me...Open Arms...

That is full. This is full.

The moon is waning again.

For the beautiful full moon we just had and for all those I pray She protects,

Om Poornamadah Poornamidam Poornaat Poornamudachyate;
Poornasya Poornamaadaaya Poornameva Avashishtayate

Om Shaantih Shaantih Shaantih

"OM. THAT IS full; this is full. This fullness has been projected from that fullness. When this fullness merges in that fullness, all that remains is fullness.

OM peace peace peace."

~From the Ishavasya Upanishad. May these first two lines bring you peace.

Spontaneity

The fantastic thing about yoga is that the journey back to ourselves means we can go back to the best parts of who we are, the true parts - the best trails that somehow get hidden along the way. I am on my way back to spontaneity.

That's the part of me that overtook today's supposed logic and practicality. The one that allowed different kinds of mistakes to happen, and also discovered the best of various kinds of love. With spontaneity came so much joy and less time for weighing, analyzing, thinking...

I was free, free-wheeling, gutsy, crazy, almost irreverent. And most of all, I loved so much better than this.

But things need to change and I mean fundamentally. And so I may quit my 12-hour job or go on a whole year sabbatical. Or study without knowing how to fund it. I could do all these things. Or not. But I will be accepting of the twists and turns from moment to moment with a kind of happy gratitude to let everything happen.

Deep inside, I know the antidote to these days' exhaustion is the lack of spontaneity in my life. I need to reintegrate myself back into these days, no matter how unconventional or wrong this may seem. It's time.

Who's going with me?

karma. jnana. bhakti.

As my moon days and cycle days are synchronized, I think about these things in the space of a gentler practice.

karma. action.
choose action over inaction
let go of the results. non-attachment to results. practice for the sake of practicing.
Do not claim credit, you are not the source of your actions or your life. 
jnana. true self.
healing. connectedness. generosity. ecstasy. contentment.
look to yamas and niyamas.

bhakti. surrender to God.
Surrender. To. God.

Listen to Govinda Kai's podcast for more...
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/talks-on-yoga-by-govinda-kai/id329900167

"These Little Earthquakes"

I ended my practice at 11 pm (again) and I am now winding down. More and more, I find I need less hours of sleep but this all depends on the quality of my Savasana. The past few days, though, they have been so deep, as if something has altered them completely.

There are also so many simultaneous changes to my asanas...Utthita Hasta Padangustasana, Garbha Pindasana, Supta Pandagustasana... The simultaneous palpable shifts are a wonder to me. It is said somewhere that the essence of stars and ours are no different. The shifts in tectonic plates and these movements within must also be connected.

In the words of my childhood muse, I think to myself...Oh, these little earthquakes.
In the Strategy Session this morning, we were told to expect more. Sometimes, I still find it strange that my day job and my life job intersect in the most unexpected places.
Oh, and it is the end of mercury retrograde. Let's start something.

Best. Savasana. Ever.

I feel so completely restored. My Savasana was deep and beautiful, my entire body is still tingling with vibrance (especially my palms and soles). At the tail end, I had a kaleidescope of energies around me and I felt my hands held again.

I love being able to practice after (or before) a long day of work.

Light, Darkness, Love

It was of lightness and darkness...and we talked of love and connection and inclusivity and community. This was the emotional balm after the seemingly harsh and beautifully intense practice. Our energies were melding and meeting in a strange dance, speaking in movements and breaths and nearness (as we close and open spaces in Downward Dog or lay with eyes closed in Savasana...)

This was the space where words could never do justice. We all felt so much...but beneath that and beyond that, we felt love - the tough kind that allows thoughts of letting go and then, ultimately, the same one that wants to stay. When we are threatened with parting, this brings about the most human experiences and we allow them. We allow them because they are what they are. Because in the end, the outcome is not always driven by our will. There are so many deeper elements at work when we make the choices we say we make on our own.

So lightness and darkness. When we find deep connections, both are shared, and we stand in the soft edges where they meet.

In the evening, we talked over champagne and chatter. There is always so much more to the stories we tell.