Day 1: Govinda Kai Retreat in Tali

I am now at the end of the 1st retreat day with Govinda and 6 beautiful seekers at the Celdrans' gorgeous residence in Tali. The trip was truly a happy one with Tesa, our stories, soulful music and our strange sisterhood.

The Celdran home is such a peaceful haven with a garden that is wild (my kind of garden) and a generous view of the sea. The interiors are Filipino at heart (Capiz panels, wood, and weaves) and the energy so warm and lived in.

Photo of Celdran Home taken by Monique Borja

We had a Satsang and opening talk before dinner, talking about what brought us here. The familiarity of the chants and G's voice took on a new light amidst the sound of waves and a cool afternoon/evening breeze. It is a special time for all of us.

This is the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I am left with thoughts of transcending boundaries, a recurring theme over the past few days. As I step over the line that says there is no other way but the everyday existence I know, an array of possibilities begin to open. I am in a state of Trust. In what seems like a rash twist of things, I am content in knowing these are magical moments and there will be more to come.

We sat silently for a while before we closed our session in time for the last meal for the day.

Denise prepared such a wonderful dinner - the falafel and couscous were fantastic. I think the best I've ever tasted. I enjoyed the light conversation with the group after dinner.

I am back in my room. 2 beds with fresh white sheets. My Japanese room mate will arrive in a few hours. And in another few hours, we will begin our practice.

Here's a photo I took (that looks like a painting) taken at the dining area...

Beginning to Simplify...

My work desk is clear. I have one pending item left (a last minute request from one of my favorite mentors). I am on to the last few hours with my BlackBerry.  I've been nurturing the beginnings of a flu and this colds for 5 days now. This must be some kind of withdrawal symptom. My "terminal leave" begins.

I have been in the jungle for 13 years and I finally mustered enough courage to take that leap of faith. I am taking an indefinite leave to pursue love and simplicity. My routine is undergoing a sweet transition. This week, I will be joining Govinda Kai for a retreat. Next week, Jessica Blanchard is in town. The following week, I will continue practice and wrap up my clearance. All this time, I will continue to take on my Monday, Tuesday and Thursday classes. Then off to Samahita Yoga Thailand I go.

Come September, I will be teaching more classes every week and working on happy new things. Exciting, blessed times ahead! So now, I am beginning to declutter and simplify my life.

Here are some ideas in bold from Inner Simplicity (Elaine St. James' 100 ways to regain peace and nourish your soul). I've taken the liberty to just share my own musings...

Spend time each day in nature. When we moved into our small home, we did so because the community had a jogging trail by the river, lots of trees and open space. We have a small balcony overlooking a large expanse of sky, trees (okay, also rooftops and the water tank) but also the antipolo hills. Depending on the time of day, the hills are golden. At night, they are lit like Christmas trees. Ynigo and I began to take walks around the village. I would like to sit in the balcony more often in meditation, smelling the basil, rosemary and sampaguita I've planted.

Create beauty in your life. I would like to go corner by corner in our home and begin to think of ways to create space and beauty around us. My extra challenge - I will achieve this without any additional purchases. The first step is to let go of the things we no longer need to make space for more beautiful things to take their place.

Get in touch with your creativity. Writing, photography, painting with the kids, injecting more creativity into teaching, opening to the projects that will come my way.  It is time to use the gifts we are given.

Latch on to synchronicity. When I finally declared my decision to pursue my mission to travel, teach and write (after years of knowing and resisting and mutating my purpose), I felt like bursts of light shone through and the path became clearer. All the wonderful opportunities opened, and I was given enough (no more, no less) to sustain what was needed. Whatever the future brings, it will bring but I am savoring these times, moment by moment, just trusting the unfolding and the gifts along the way.

And finally, for this post, here's something to think about, straight from the small book:

Create simplicity, not austerity.  "... living fully doesn't mean having it all, going everywhere, doing everything, and being all things to all people. Many of us are beginning to see that too much is too much. Doing too much and having too much get in the way of being able to enjoy the things we do want in our lives, and to simply be who we are.

Achieving a level of inner simplicity makes it possible to choose intelligently the things that are meanigful in our lives and that contribute to our happiness and our peace of mind."

Striving for Balance with Jessica Blanchard at Yoga Manila (Ortigas)

Jessica merges East and West in her integrated approach to diet, lifestyle and yoga. A student of Ayurveda since 2003, she completed a four-year training at the European Institute of Vedic Studies, under Atreya Smith. She is also a student of nutritional science through a traditional university.
Jessica is deeply impressed and amazed at the way the ancient system of Ayurveda can help individuals in the modern world. She also recognizes that advances in science have brought us detailed information about cellular nutrition, disease and immunity. Through an integrated approach to health and nutrition she strives to disseminate authentic, evidenced-based and at the same time intuitive information in her sessions.
Jessica’s yoga teaching style is a fusion of detailed scientific anatomical knowledge with a deep understanding of the energetic body. She teaches yoga paying particular attention to the intersection of the physical body with the energetic body. Through attention to correct alignment, breath and postural awareness, she encourages students to practice with intelligence. This is a key component to practice longevity—allowing students to practice injury-free for a lifetime.
Jessica has spent many years studying with the late Sri K. Pattabhi Jois, and was given his blessing to teach in 2004. She continues to study with Sharath Rangaswamy in Mysore and Richard Freeman in Boulder, CO. She holds the Level 2 Teaching Authorization from the Sri K. Pattabhi Jois Institute in Mysore, India.

Find out more at http://www.yogamanila.com/

Smritih: There Once Was a Shala

PYS 1.11 Anubhuta Visayasampramosah Smritih

Anubhuta, experienced, vishaya, objects, asampramoshah, not forgotten, smritih, memory.

A memory is an experience that is not forgotten.

Yesterday, I found one of the old schedule cards of the Jagad Yoga shala and like a scene rewound, I see: The top of a run down building without a working elevator, the smell of incense, music playing, the red and green dancing lights on the equalizer from the small bar at the corner, sliver of mirrors on walls, photos from India, the plants outside, and a dimly lit vegetarian cafe with old issues of Yoga magazines. There once were 2 teachers and the students (who are now teachers)...

I went to the 630 evening classes straight from work, practicing in a room full of people ujjayi breathing. I did not know too many of the yogis. I moved with Sandy's voice, as with everyone. She moved with her twin braids, voice clear cutting through the thick air...

Life - mine, theirs, yours - has changed drastically since those days. There are days enveloped in those years I would rather not remember. There are scenes I would not want to forget. 

It's all in the past. The run down building long gone. I took a few moments in its memory to thank all the glorious and gregarious stories in and around those moments. 

Smritih.

Space for Quiet

"Settle yourself in solitude, and you will come upon God in yourself." ~St. Teresa of Avila

      "Compose yourself in stillness. Draw your attention inward and devote your consciousness in the Self. For the wisdom you seek lies within." ~ Bhagavad Gita

I realize it has been almost a month since I've written in this blog. The irony of it all is that these weeks have been rich. Rich in emotions, thoughts, egos running amok in what I would think as one of the more remarkable turbulent times of my life. I waver ever so slightly at the thought that the universe is unfolding as it should - parents gone mad in their own stories of tabloid quality, my nerves frayed from the recent long, busy days and sleepless work nights, my many roles barely making the passing mark, the new (and old) vignettes in this drama - in the midst of this, I am on the verge of entering a new phase.

In these times, I turn silent. I become very, very quiet. These are rare and precious times for turning in and diving deep in to the layers that cover us so we can listen to the answer we buried because it did not make world sense. This is the time we determine which is true defiance, which is true obedience. For me, this requires an almost severe solitude.

My body has not fully recovered and so my practice takes on a quieter, softer form. I am taking my time because out of this muck, clarity has begun to grow. It is time to make another life choice, one I have been putting off for a long time. I quiet my thoughts so I do not need to respond to every single question or reaction. We all know our paths are meant to be different.

In the coming days, the answers will radiate. This means simplifying my life on so many levels. If you are reading this, please wish me happy thoughts. I am about to fulfill my dream.

Tyaga is Tiyaga without the "I"

"Not causing pain to others (ahimsa); truthfulness (satyam); Renunciation of the fruits of your actions (tyaga)..."  (The Living Gita)

So this must be the etymology of the word Tiyaga in Filipino. It has of course, taken on a relatively different meaning. Tiyaga, to us, is perseverance, a constant, patient, enduring pursuance mostly related to work. This is seen as a positive virtue. We persevere in our work because this is the better, if not only, option. Perhaps there is no other alternative in sight and if we keep at it, we will get the result - a better quality of life by whatever standards we've defined.

Pag may tiyaga, may nilaga* (When there is patient perseverance, the stew will boil and cook - quite literally. It means we will have something to eat). This is a well known Filipino proverb. To a lot of people striving to make ends meet, it is held on to like a mantra, a hopeful guarantee.

In relationships, Tiyaga has a somewhat negative use. It is taken to mean tolerance and sacrifice. We may not necessarily want to remain in a relationship but we do, for various seemingly valiant reasons that make the trade-off worth the effort. Pinagtiyatiyagaan.

In both ways, persevarance seems to be anchored on the result. It bears fruit and that is the assurance. It gives hope to millions that something will come out of the daily woes of work and life in general. This is not necessarily "bad" but there is certainly room to transcend. It is difficult for most because hope, prayer and hard work are all they have. And it is dangerous because with hope, prayer and our hard working hands comes expectations of results. Somehow it is easy to disproportionately rely on our work such that the hope comes mostly from ourselves. 

Tyaga has more spirituality rooted in it. Based on another Gita commentary, "Tyaga...is completely mental, a state of both thought and attitude. It is perfect dispassion toward the results of any action–not from disinterest or indifference, but because all actions engaged in are “to be done” in and of themselves. Even if no result comes, it does not matter. It is the simple doing that matters." (http://www.atmajyoti.org/hi_gita_commentary_81.asp)

As it turns out, both tyaga and tiyaga start off with action and commitment. It is the degree of attachment or non-attachment to the outcome that makes the difference between the mundane and the divine (aside from  the small "I"). To labor and ask not for reward.**

And then of course, the actions are offered up in Love.
It is that shift in perspective that tells us we can keep choosing the divine.

* nilaga - a stew with plenty of water and condiment: sinigang · v. to cook by slow boiling: maglaga, ilaga (Tagalog online dictionary)
**From the Prayer for Generosity

Day 143: Radiant Prana

If they only knew how beautiful and radiant they were.