Day 16 (Aug 29): New Moon and Savasana

We started extra early today. Fire Ceremony was at 6pm. Pranayama followed but as it is the new moon and my cycle days, I was told to do a very soft practice. Badha Konasana and Passive backbends.

I believe my hamstring is healing from all the Reiki, Infrared Sauna and gentle straight leg stretches.

Paul started his Pranayama class and we do our Pranayama practice twice a day now. The afternoon session helped for the little stresses I got from Manila.  Pranayama truly has a profound effect on me and I will keeping this practice with a deeper commitment.

On these days, I am not allowed Uddiyana, Agni Sara and Kapalabhati. Instead, I lay in Savasana, on my stomach and practiced my Jiva, Brahma and Simha Mudras, Nadi Shodana, Shitali... (Paul got me distracted in Brahma Mudra though...)

The remarkable thing about this day is my Savasana. Whenever we would lay in Savasana, I fell into it deeply almost immediately, without waiting. It's as if I drink it up from thirst but in a very soothing, natural way.

There's so much to learn and I do love this practice. I find myself wishing I didn't redo my schedule but I also miss my kids so very much. A few more days till I come home. Meanwhile, I am here now.

It's rather amazing too that this is officially my last day of employment. No more Strategic Planning Calendars, no more balanced score cards, no more special (classified) projects... But I am in a place that will not allow me to miss these. I can only be grateful for the 13 years of corporate work. I did not know this day coincided with the new moon until a few days back. It is truly the closing of this time and the opening of another.

After we exhale, we inhale anew...

Day 15 (August 28): Welcome to Paul's Pranayama Course

I practiced Pranayama this morning and nothing else. My cycle coincides with moon days. Tomorrow is a new moon and maybe I will have a light modified practice.

It's time to welcome Pranayama. There are 22 in this course bit a handful of us are leaving by the end of the week. Paul opened the afternoon session with introductions and a light Pranayama practice.

I learned this years back from Paul bit it bears repeating...

The OM should be felt entering through the area of the Apana, rising through the spine and then out through the mouth, prolonging the vibration of Mmmmm... (The A-U portion is just 3 beats of Shiva's drum)...

"Take a nice inhale..."

ॐ OM

Day 14 (Aug 27): 2 weeks down

It is hard to believe I have been here for 2 weeks now. 1 have only one week to go.

My cycle days have begun. As this is a free day, Keisha and I went to Chaweng to buy souvenirs for our family. It's busy and provincial but with a lot of tourists (and a lot of haggling). It was tiring...

In the evening, I went for the infrared steam.

The energy is shifting...

I noticed I've been drawn to the meditation books so I signed up for the 10-day Vipassana course in October. Aside from this, I have nothing much to say.  I'm enjoying the Silence.

Day 13 (Aug 26): Last Day of Sankhya

It is the last day of our Sankhya and Second Series course. It always amazes me how quickly time flies here. In the morning, we had a fire ceremony.

May we listen to good, auspicious things with our ears.

May we see good things with our eyes...

Om Bhadram Karnebih Srnuyama Devah

Bhadram Pasyamaksabhiryajatrah
Sthirairangaistustuvamsastanubhih
Vyasema Devahitam Yadayuh

Om Svasti na Indro Vrddhasravah
Svasti Nah Pusa Visvavedah
Svasti Nastarksyo Aristanemih
Svasti No Brhaspatirdadhatu

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti

Pranayama and Asana followed after, as the mornings normally go. To me, they continue to be beautiful. My left hamstring is still in pain and so for the practice, I went very slowly, taking Savasanas as needed. I left out Kurmasana and Supta Kurmasana, where it hurts the most and stopped at Upavista Konasana so I could work on a few poses from second series, making up for the lost poses in Primary. It is Friday afterall. I was last to leave the shala. Bente went in and caught me in these poses.

Elonne helping me come up

Halasana

* * *

For Sankhya, I felt rather emotional in the session (these bloody hormones...) Still, it was a surprise, considering the earlier slokas talked about the evolution of the 25 principles of creation (much like our grade school science books enumerates senses, organs, etc. Also, given that it is atheistic as a philosophy,  could not relate to it much. Yoga later adds Ishwara (God). 

But today, as we covered the last slokas, I felt a sweetness for Prakrti (Yes, Nature in Sanskrit).

Sloka 59

rangasya darsayitva nivartate nartaki yatha nrtyat

purusasya thatha'tmanam prakasaya vinivartate prakrtih

Prakrti functions for the sake of Purusa. "As a dancer ceaser from the dance after having been seen by the audience; so also prakrti ceases after having manifested herself to purusa."*

Sloka 61

Prakrteh sukumarataram na kincid astiti me matir bhavati

ya drstasmi'ti punar na darsanam upaiti purusasya 

"It is my thought that there is nothing more delicate than prakrti, who (says to herself) 'I have been seen, and never again comes into the sight of purusa'*

Professor Rao must be feeling it too as he he says -

She has given all objects that can be seen, heard, touched, enjoyed...

She has given Buddhi for liberation.

She is most delicate and most sensitive.

What did I learn?

Purusa. Prakrti.

Buddhi. Ahamkara. Manas.

5 Sensory Organs. 5 Motor Organs.

5 Subtle Elements. 5 Gross Elements.

Purusa is one of the 25 principles. Everything else is Prakrti. She is the net that binds and the net that will liberate and when she liberates, she will forever liberate. Her job is done. The subtle body merges back with her.

She performs her dance, from beginning to end and again and again - she has created her stage, the music, the script, the whole show. He watches, a spectator. At the end, as each song comes to pass fully liberated from the dance, he says I have seen her. She says I have been seen*.

Like a love that comes to pass, it is done. Though the two are still in proximity, no further creation takes place*.

*The Samkhyakarika of Isvarakrsna

Day 12 (Aug 25): Tama

Tama. In Sanskrit, it means proper method. In Filipino, we've adopted it to mean correct (like a correct answer vs. a wrong one). Strangely, or aptly, the themes I have coincide with some of the words that we've adopted in Sanskrit. There are many...mukha, dukha, tyaga... In the other post, I mentioned saksi. I've also noticed some were adopted in the Ilocano dialect like rupa (form). I have always loved language and etymology and how we've chosen to adopt and evolve words is fascinating to me.

* * *

I didn't get to sleep well last night. I'm energized now but I tossed and turned the whole night. I was in an out of dreams and places. In the edge of sleep and non-sleep, realities as we know it do not seem to matter much, and the best kept ones have a chance to unfold.

Still, it's quite difficult when a full practice awaits in the morning.

The beautiful difference is the way we open our days. I love opening my days this way. Gratefulness. Forgiveness and Guidance. I love the Gayatri and Mahamrityunjaya Mantras and the sweet bijahs that grow from them. I love the transition cues from the singingTibetan bowl. I love Pranayama and the smoothness and the sweetness I am able to get from it. Of course, I love my asana practice. I am gathering strength but more so, patience and humility.

We're 15 slokas away from completing the Sankhya text. The first course ends tomorrow. 2 weeks have gone by.

Today, Paul told us stories for the rainy afternoon. He was sharing his experiences I think in a deeper way. For me, it's a way of bringing us closer to a more intense practice, reminding us of why we are moving in this direction and softening the urge to go into a mad dash of contortions. He wants us to understand the process and why are in it or why we should be...

I love the humor he injects with each session. As I teach, I may not be able to pull off his crazy antics in class but I would love to share the passion and care and integrity in the practice.

So here he is.

Irish storytellers are called Seanchai. You couldn't really tell Paul was Irish by how he talks. Except when he says the words "free" or "freedom"

* * *

Today, the news came out on Steve Jobs' resignation from Apple. His speech at Stanford is very popular but it truly resonates with me.

 

"Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life....

The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle....

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.....

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart....

Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away...

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

Tama siya.

Day 11 (Aug 24): Love Song

Overcast. I wanted to see the monk walking but it is drizzling now. I did get to see three dogs at the pool area. There was an alpha dog bullying two other dogs. I got one of the frightened dogs to sit with me.

I did end up seeing the monk almost belatedly but I wasn't able to take good photographs. Just this as he walked on...

Practice was good. Paul wants me to do drop backs on my own now and just work on coming back to standing. I need to practice Bakasana B. We're also going much faster with Sankhya now. More than half way through so hopefully we will finish all 70 slokas.

For the asana session, Paul made us do some restorative poses for backbends (with music!) Oh there are days I just love practicing with music. Then he put on a Adele's cover for The Cure's Love Song (one of my favorite songs). A great version for passive heart opening.

Paul explaining...

  

  

Last night, I dreamed I could see people's auras and touch them.

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am home again

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am whole again

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel

like i am young again

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am fun again

however far away i will always love you

however long i stay i will always love you

whatever words i say i will always love you

i will always love you

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am free again

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am clean again

however far away i will always love you

however long i stay i will always love you

whatever words i say i will always love you

i will always love you

(The Cure)

Yoga and Tattoo: Those I Met in Yoga Thailand (Part 1)

I have marked each year after the cancer with a tattoo to celebrate, to be grateful, and to remember what I should not take for granted - this life. In Yoga communities, I often see a few tattooes (some hidden) and beyond portraits of faces of the beautiful people I meet, I wanted to show a different profile. Here are some of them. There will be more to come...

Costa

The mantras and Ganesh were done by a Thai Monk in the traditional way. It took 3 hours to complete. Very brave for a farang. Strong like this strong practitioner.

Aoy

The tattoo is not of yogic symbols but is of a special meaning to her. Moolah bandha flying. (If you see how she floats up and down in practice, it reflects this beautiful tattoo).

Laura

The Kanji symbol means wolf. The wolf is respected for its strength, loyalty and courage.