to get here and I mean that in so many ways. I started this dream so
long ago, amidst other dreams and a few nightmares. When an old friend
wished that I find that which I seek, it dawned on me so naturally and
ever so peacefully that I wasn't seeking. I am merely fulfilling, or
beginning to fulfill a dream I set aside to make way for the best
parts of my life, bigger dreams - true love with a happy ending,
beautiful and healthy children, seeing the world, a satisfying career...
I have been blessed though my life is far from charmed. Everyday, I
work for the sustenance of my dreams come true, with love, gratitude
and faith in God.
Today is another leap of faith. It was hardest to take the first step:
to leave. To leave those that matter most to me for a month, to trust
that all will be well in my absence, to trust that my heart is in its
right place. Dreams are earned mostly through so much trust.
After the tears and breathing through thoughts of cowardice, we drove
to the airport. It's funny how this journey is downplayed with the
objective of becoming a yoga instructor. It's not like I'm going to be
the semi-spiritual Jane Fonda of the new millennium, not that there's
anything wrong with that. I am learning so that I may teach. Yoga
helped me through tough times. It is a whole philosophy and asanas is
a part of it. I want to deepen and be able to share the beauty of a
practice that has strengthened and balanced me.
This month is also my way of rejuvinating. It has been quite a decade
and I am giving this month to allow me time to just be centered and
away from the flurry of my own self importance. I compressed in ten
years, events that normal people stretch over a lifetime. I need to
decompress and accept that everything and everyone will be fine
without me. I should be fine knowing that. When I return, I hope I am
able to love and serve better, more grounded, more humble, less self-
conscious/flagellating/deprecating, with quiet confidence in my worth,
knowing the worth doesn't come from me.
I admit I have been broken to pieces but my pride held me up so
strongly over the years. I need to rest these pieces and allow them
to fall. It's okay now.
So, then...the airport and my myriad of memories. I hate commuting in
Manila but I love commuting around the world. There is a sense of
liberation in travelling the world alone. A lot of trust there and
humbling too. I've missed this so much. Being in airports, getting a
few hours of work done, that magical lull when the plane starts to
move that puts me instantly to sleep...
Side story - the guy from immigration asked in a very strange
condescending tone "San ka pupunta, Ineng." I had to kick my ego so it
could back down. It was about to give a lecture on how not to be rude.
I answered "Koh Samui." What will I do there? Study. Where do I work?
Globe. What do I do in Globe? Good one. Customer Service? Yes,
essentially that's I do. (I don't think execution support and strat
process means much to him) Ah, customer service. Yup.
And then I did a shameless plug on Super DUO and Sarah Geronimo.
Anyway.
I got a good seat in economy. Right behind business class. Aisle seat
and no one beside me so I had the window view too. It was a nice
night. Manila city lights from the sky looks so...sophisticated.
Bangkok too on the way down.
This is my fist time in this new airport. It's been almost 10 years
since I've been to Thailand, same time in 2001. Sawasdee.
As they were checking my bags, they found my Rasberry Vanilla Body
Mist (Beets, I'm sorry!) to be over 100ml and confiscated it. I was
too sleepy to argue.
I'm here now in Louis' Tavern, the only airport hotel. My kris flyer
(regular blue) cannot afford me a nice lounge. But I'm in a good place
for 6 hours (3,500 baht). And I really need to sleep because in 4
hours, I'll need to wake up.
To day 1.
